


Decree Number Twenty-Six

by mschmnged



Category: A Very Potter Musical, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bullying, Chess, Floo Network, Love Confessions, M/M, Occlumency, Pensieves, Potions, Prefects' Bathroom, Quidditch, Room of Requirement, Secrets, Strip Chess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-03-11 11:40:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3326099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mschmnged/pseuds/mschmnged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>new Headmistress Umbridge has posted many ridiculous decrees but Decree Number Twenty-Six is just insane; girls and boys must be at least 8 inches apart. Furious, Harry Potter storms the halls until he overhears Draco complaining about the same decree... only to reveal a big secret...  Harry(T)/Draco(B) Drarry, some Harry/Cedric, implied Sirius/Lupin. M rating comes in later, books/movies mix world</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Decree

***

Headmistress Dolores Umbridge was a right cunt.

Dust snowed violently on the passerby students as Flitch; the squib janitor, hammered into the corridor wall. He proceeded to hang a thick frame hosting the latest decree from the High Bitch of Hogwarts.

The masses of cunning Ravenclaws, brave Gryffindors, proud Slytherins and oblivious Hufflepuffs didn't waste a glance at the freshly inked parchment. Everyone knew the new decree was going to be just as ridiculous as the last twenty five Umbridge had hastily delivered since the fateful day she was appointed to Hogwarts by the Ministry.

Nothing slipped by that woman, it seemed as though she was writing down on a whim whatever was annoying her right that second. If a student so much as flicked a Bernie Bots Every Flavor Bean in her general direction, all sweets from Hogsmeade and care packages would be confiscated. The whole school attempted to tip-toe around on their best behavior, but the stress of it was causing cracks.

As the between-class rush of students bustled around him, Harry Potter massaged the aching scrawl on his hand where Umbridge inflicted his detention punishments. Harry knew he was blocking traffic, he knew he should be rushing off to Divination, he knew Peeves would be around soon for his daily toilet-water-balloon tossing… yet he couldn't help but to stop and scoff at the latest 'dipshit' decree. Umbridge must be running out of things to outlaw.

In large offensive type, the parchment boasted:  
"Boys & girls are not permitted to be within 8 inches of each other."

Hearing a nearby sob, Harry turned to see a frail third-year girl looking at the same decree, tears welling up in her eyes as she clutched a much larger Ravenclaw boy. No sooner did the girl bury her splotchy face into his embrace when she was forcibly sent sprawling across the hall by some unspoken spell cast by the power-walking pink menace herself.

"Hem-hem!"

The sticky sweet cough wasn't fooling anyone, least of all Harry. Umbridge was out to see what reaction her latest decree would get so she could suck in the satisfaction.

“Well, what do we think Mr. Potter?" She squinted daringly at Harry with her piggy eyes, waiting eagerly for him to misspeak so she could dish out more detention. Harry did not feel like reopening his flesh when it had yet to heal from his last session with the torture toad, so he slowly chose his words with care.

"Very… creative.” He lied, despite the new creed Dolores had him live by as dictated on the back of his hand. The pink eyesore of a woman drew up proud and tall (as tall as she could get anyway) and chuckled;

“Yes, well, i had some inspiration! I heard through a little birdie in the owlery that a certain little someone-who-lived has the admiration of a little certain Ravenclaw seeker! I figured, if i nip this in the bud i might as well make it fair and impart the rule on everyone! Got to keep things about the school work around here, not silly little crushes!"

"If thats the case then i'd have a talk with Filtch if i were you" Harry spat, unable to hold another scathing thought back. He hurried away before the flushed menace could grasp what he just insinuated, just in time as the squib in question came skipping loyally up to the headmistress, drooling like a lovesick house elf.

'This is getting out of hand!' Harry thought, fuming as he pressed through the halls,  
'This woman has to be taken care of, why isn't anyone doing anything!?'

Harry's imagination went wild with all the creative torture he could think of for a woman that foul, becoming so engrossed in the fantasy, he hadn't paid attention to where his feet were carrying him. A familiar chill in the corridors stirred Harry, stopping him dead in his tracks out of confusion. Harry had accidentally turned to the dungeons instead of the forrest-impersonating classroom where Firenze had probably started teaching Divination long ago. He hadn't even noticed the halls had thinned of students, now comfortably on time in their classes.

'Shit!' Harry's stomach churned. 'I hope Umbridge isn't going to be hawking over class today…'

Ruffling his untidy dark hair, Potter sank into a nearby alcove in defeat. Nothing to do now but wait for the next class. Questioning why he unconsciously chose to walk to the dungeons of all places, Harry jumped as he heard the smart slap of shoes on the flagstone.

'Oh gods!' He fretted, 'Umbridge already knows I'm not in class!'

Harry promptly unfurled his invisibility cloak he had tightly folded in the front of his pack. He had put it there just a few weeks before as a precautionary measure after constantly running into Umbridge an uncanny amount of times. Once properly tucked under the velvety folds, Harry tried to quiet his breath as a familiar drawling voice bellowed out;

"It's ridiculous, honestly Blaise!" Draco Malfoy strutted to the dungeons, puffed up and clearly agitated, "How's a guy supposed to get a proper squeeze in with a decree like that!"

Harry snickered under his breath, surprised to hear one of the Inquisitorial Squad complaining openly behind the headmistress's back.

"Oh come off it Draco," Blaise, dark and dashing, towered over Malfoy.

"Only girl around here who wants a squeeze from you is Parkinson, and she made it very clear you didn't touch her with your ten foot pole the night of the Yule Ball."

"If that wasn't a compliment you hid in there i would put your lights out right here and now!" Draco threatened, though he stepped a little further away from his companion, obviously knowing he wouldn't get a punch in if he tried.

"She's just not what I'm looking for, i have very particular tastes.”

"Oh i can guess who that taste is you want." Blaise's face squinted into the fuck-i-can't-believe-i-said-that-aloud expression and waited uncomfortably for Malfoy's reaction.

The Slytherin seeker's steps faltered before Blaise and turned slowly back to him, sleeking his white-blonde hair away from his grey eyes as they flickered menacingly.

"Would you like to elaborate Blaise?" Malfoy's voice was so thick with contempt even Harry gulped in fear before his wrath. Blaise had clearly hit a sore spot and knew something Harry suddenly really really wanted to know. The two Slytherins were dangerously close to being out of earshot, so Harry made the daring choice to uproot from his hidden alcove and cautiously sneak closer, deeper into the dungeons towards the enemy's common room.

"Uh, hey, i'm sorry i was just joking around." Blaise stammered, walking a little faster down the flame-lit corridor, attempting to leave the situation he roused up.

"No no, please Blaise, entertain me here, what little bedtime stories has Pansy been scrambling up about my love life, i want to know!"

Harry could have found better things to do with his time, but going to class late wasn't an option and homework wasn't half as tempting as this. Besides, Harry had always been curious of Draco and his motivations; ever since they first met in Madam Malkins robe shop in their first year, Harry had felt a strange draw to the villainous blonde. No one else seemed to care what this snake was up to as much as Harry, so he felt it was his duty to keep tabs on him.

Feeling validated in his choice to follow the green-clad students to their lair, Harry rushed along as to not miss entering their common room as they uttered the password; "Boomslang Skin." No sooner had Harry invisibly slipped in through the passageway when he was almost maimed by a sliver oil lamp chucked across the room. It shattered on the damp stone wall and flames licked dangerously as the oil spread. Harry had no time to worry about this, as a silver trinket box whistled past his ear and rebounded off the door.

"TELL ME YOU PRAT!" Draco huffed, a crystal inkwell was chosen as his new weapon, waiting in his white-knuckled grip to be tossed at the panicked 'friend' hiding behind a well-stuffed couch.

"What is going on?" The prissy pug face of Pansy Parkinson peered out from the girl's dormitory; she and a dark haired boy had cut class to attempt to break Umbridge's new 8-inches-apart decree, but it was obviously a failed attempt due to her face sporting a fresh cut from being magically forced apart.

"What are you saying about me Pansy?" Draco hissed, rounding back on her, allowing Blaise to escape up to the boy's rooms.

"W-whaaaat me? No-o i didn't-"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"I say a lot of things, what specaif-"

"PANSY, i WILL hex your face more ugly than it already is!"

Exasperated, the girl whipped her dark hair out of her eyes (which she rolled). Pansy was clearly on the cusp of caving and Harry couldn't explain why he was getting so excited to find out what was making Malfoy this crazy. He felt a little disgusting with this guilty pleasure, but he was ready to hex the answer out of the girl himself before he'd wind up late to yet another class.

"I just saiiiid that you're lucky; you get a loophole in this new stupid decree of her highness's." Pansy was clearly still sore at Umbridge for making it hard for her to sleaze with this unnamed Slytherin boy between classes, whom had now smartly snuck off to the boy's dorms, away from the confrontation.

"What?" Draco subsided his anger for bafflement, he was looking very ruffled; blond hair no longer perfectly slicked but instead falling softly over his wide eyes, his crisp school shirt jutted half-hazardly out from his crumpled jumper. Even his usually perfectly placed Inquisitorial Squad badge had flown off his heaving chest at some point. The room stood in silence, waiting for elaboration.

"Oh my gawd, don't make me come out with it for you." Pansy whined, her eyes glistening with mischief. "You know… only GIRLS and BOYS need to stay apart."

Draco continued to stand amidst his rubble, agape.

"Becauuuuuuuse," The girl drawled, now clearly amused, "You want to be eight inches closer to booooooys."

Harry didn't know how to process this. First he was impressed. That was a huge loophole in Umbridge's decree to prevent hanky-panky, one he was sure not many people had thought of. Then he wondered how many students in Hogwarts felt sexually inclined that way. It had never been brought up before that there was likely a handful of students that did not conform to one sexuality. Though he supposed, why should it be brought to attention, its nobody's business who likes what with who.

But Harry never considered Draco's preferences before… he never thought about Draco's softer side much at all, he didn't think he had one. But it made sense, obviously Draco didn't hate everyone, just Harry, Weasley's and Mudbloods; so he must like, even like-LIKE someone in the school. Thinking of Draco lusting after someone, another boy at that, kissing and groping at a guy… brought an uncomfortable heat to Harry’s gut as the image of lips clashing flashed in his mind. He quickly banished the thought as Draco's voice rang in his ear, realizing how dangerously close he was to the Slytherin.

"Wha- i… no. What?”

"Draco, baby," Pansy coxed, reaching out to him with a motherly intent,

"You told me about that dream remember? I know you were pretty drunk at the ball but come on, you know you were just dying to spill the beans."

"Wha…what." Draco looked pitiful as he withered in Pansy's grasp, sinking into the nearby armchair, "No i wouldn't have told you… your fat mouth…"

"Im going to ignore that." She snapped, but quickly she resumed her comforting coos, "Draco you dreamed about him. You told me how you can't stop obsessing… do you remember the dream? The one where you followed him into the quidditch showers? You were going to beat him up but instead you… beat him off?" She snickered, proud of herself.

Draco looked up in disgust. "NO. I never-"

"Or the one," She guffawed, "Where he kept you as a pet after you were turned into a rat and you saw him-"

"SHUT UP! i was a FERRET you moron!"

"Aha! You admit it!" Pansy was very proud of herself indeed, she leapt up and pounced around in glee, gushing about like a Lockhart fangirl.

"Oooh you have to get with him! Please Draco! it would be so hot knowing you're sucking that prat's face, it's destiny i tell you!"

Harry was still in shock over the news of Draco's sexuality. Combine that with having never seen Draco unravel before AND sneaking into the Slytherin's common room and that chalks up to a very big day. Potter was ready to leave the dorms to go blabber the news in Ron's confidence but he wasn't sure how he could open the door without the two Slytherins noticing. Very much so stuck, Harry edged closer to the door, still wary of the leftover flames consuming the dripping oil from the smashed lamp. Harry held his ear as close to the door as he dared, listening for the sound of an entering student so he could slip past.

"Draco baby, stop moping!" Pansy continued to chatter,

"The first step is admitting it to yourself and coming out of that broom closet you've been so deeply wedged in! You don't have to start with snogging him, you can have any guy in the school, shag a few others for practice!"

"I don't want others!" Draco snapped suddenly, snaring Harrys full attention once more. All three of them were shocked to hear such a testimony; could Draco actually be feeling something other than hate or pride? Capable of something bigger than himself, something real? Harry was shocked that Draco could have more emotional range than a teaspoon and was intrigued. This was a side of Draco he would never allow Harry to see. Something barley anyone would ever be privy to.

"Draco…" Pansy breathed with anticipation, "Are you in love with him?"

Malfoy sat there, hunched over in the leather chair, weighted by his thoughts. The air around him seem to stay still, holding the moment dear. Harry almost missed the tell-tale click of the common room door being unlocked from the other side as he waited for a name to be uttered. Frustrated with his only chance to escape, Harry prepared to slip past the unsuspecting Slytherin about to walk into the fray.

"I… god Pansy, whats wrong with me?" Draco brushed his blonde hair away from his face in his signature way. 

A small barley-there first year pushed through the door and went unnoticed by Malfoy. Harry stepped unwilling outside the door but kept close as it closed and heard just before it shut;

"I'm in love with Potter."

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decree from the High Shipper Mschmnged;  
> I know how much it sucks waiting for the hot smutty goods in a fan fiction, and this fiction of mine is brand new and not near when i want anything sluttastic to happen. i want to develop a feel and understanding tangled in closely with the world J.K.R. gave us. Because i am not a patient person and i do not expect you to be specially after seeing a 'M' rating, consult my fan fiction 'Thats My Shirt' for a instant smut-satisfaction short sex romp. please stay tuned for more development here, it will get steamy, but it must unfurl slowly as to tantalize the readers :)


	2. The Find

Harry Potter found himself sorely distracted all through Defense Against the Dark Arts. This wasn’t much of a problem though, since Headmistress Umbridge's class mostly consisted of reading a book years beneath their talent, thus he never learned a damned thing. Staring at his desk with a vacant stare, a newfound loss for words was in his favor because it kept Harry's mouth shut and out of detention.

The questions Harry had about Draco Malfoy's sexual preference and choice of love interest continued to breed and branch out as far as his mind dared, distracting him not just through his DAtDA class but the following dinner as well; rendering him silent as his prodded his shepherd's pie.

He had chosen to greedily hold onto the news instead of his original idea to confide in Ron; with him now being a large part of the gossip, Harry just wasn't ready for all the questions until he had his own figured out.

He could already imagine what Ron would say;

"What!? Gross! Malfoy? You don't fancy him back do you? No, no of course not… but you haven't been jerkin' him along right? OH! that's not what i meant!"

Harry certainly didn't want to tell Hermione, he had a sick fear she would laugh and tell him she always knew about Draco's infatuation. Even though it was quite ridiculous to expect, Hermione always had a sixth sense for these things, having accurately guessed Cho's feelings on more than one occasion.

Harry stayed up much too late that same night pondering on his own preferences in the aftermath of his flighty relationship with Cho. She was the very first person Harry had ever wanted more than friendship from, but that feeling had been waning quickly ever since their sloppy wet kiss and disastrous date in Hogsmeade.

He started to wonder what he even had liked about her besides appearances; her hair whipping about on a broomstick was lovely, the way her almond eyes squinted back into her flushed cheeks was intoxicating… but it wasn't often when her eyes were doing that from laughter, they were more often crunched up with tears. Harry supposed he didn't even know that much about her… he just really liked having someone else around that was just as upset over Cedric's death as he was, someone else who truly understood the gravity and truth of the matter.

Cedric was such a wonderful person; he always found a reason to smile, always found a way to befriend everyone without giving into peer pressure, and he was always finding the silver lining in any situation…

'I guess,' Harry smiled to himself, 'you could just say Cedric was a particularly good finder.'

He was a handsome fellow too, Harry could remember the pang of jealousy he felt at the Yule Ball as Cedric and Cho swept into the hall together. He had wondered if Cho could like someone like him after being with a catch like Cedric; all dashing in his fitted dress robes and his gold-spun hair swept casually yet sculpted off to the side… did he and Cho match their robes? Harry found that he could not remember what Cho had worn or how she had plaited her hair…

'She probably hadn't worn make-up in case she cried!' Harry laughed aloud at the thought, but stifled it quickly as Ron stirred in the four poster nearby.

Sitting in the dead of night, surrounded by the sounds of sleep around him, dread washed over Harry as he remembered Cho only started crying so much after Cedric died. He was so young, his death so unfair. He could have lived on for years and years to come, he was more fit than anyone in the school. Harry could remember the feel of taught ropey muscle under the Triwizard jersey as he clutched onto the lifeless body with a death grip even Dumbledore had trouble loosing.

Harry could feel his eye lids becoming leaded, his neck dipping his head to the pillows. Cedric was a good fellow, he had helped Harry with the Golden Egg challenge, pulling the fourth year student aside to insinuate the solution;

"You know the Prefects' bathroom on the fifth floor? It's not a bad place for a bath. Just take your egg and... mull things over in the hot water."  
It was such a cryptic message from the Hufflepuff, his cocky grin made it hard for Harry to know how to take it, but it had been life saving advice and probably been one of the best baths in his life, specially compared to the cold-water-only 5-minute timed showers at the Dursleys.

Harry could still remember the first time he twisted the jewel-set spigots around the pool-like tub, gushing forth the most intoxicating scents and dazzling displays of bubbled bath. Slipping into the warm embrace of perfumed water, he treaded along the tub's length in tranquility. Suddenly realization hit as Harry spotted the oversized egg waiting patiently on the white marbled floor. He slapped a wet arm down on the tub's edge and reached, pulling the clue close and pawed at the glossy surface until the egg split open with a screech. Panicking, Harry snapped it shut, yet dropped it as he heard someone speak behind him;

"I'd try putting it in the water if i were you."

Cedric stood taller than normal to Harry's dismay, making him feel somehow even more exposed than naked as he already was. The Handsome Hufflepuff strut across the candlelit prefect's bathroom to turn off the overflowing taps, nothing more than a fluffy towel draped precariously around his hips. He knelt along the edge Harry hung on to, grinning not only with his pearly teeth but with his soft grey eyes… Harry was lost in the familiarity of the color, there had always been something about the color grey- most people saw it for its drab poor connotations; quite like the stain his Aunt Petunia used on the oversized hand-me-downs he was supposed to wear to the terrible muggle school he had almost been sent to. But Harry had recently started to notice that grey could be a very warm color.

"Go on then… open it under the water Harry."

Cedric pointed at the gold-finished egg winking beneath the surface, waiting patiently. Harry gulped, for air and out of nervousness from hearing his name said in such a breath. He dipped beneath the color-tinted water to sit at the stone bottom of the tub, hearing the lovely mermaid's chorus, but became distracted as a pair of feet broke the bath's surface. Losing a bubble of precious air to a yelp of shock, Harry propelled himself upwards, whipping his sopping black hair away from his face to see… to see the older boy advancing on him, breaking a wake of bubbles.

"D-Diggory?!" He gasped as Cedric reached both arms behind Harry to seize the round rim of the tub, backing Harry into the wall of it.

"Shh" Cedric's wet lips were not far from Harry's now, their eyes locked as the gap between them closed slowly. "you can figure out the clue later…"

His dripping torso slid against Harry's, Cedric's firm hand left the tub's edge to brush back a drenched tendril of dark hair. Paralyzed with shock as he felt the other boy's legs stagger between his, lower halves colliding, Harry's mouth fell agape with a guttural moan. Cedric took advantage of this and pressed Harry's mouth to his, kissing the other boy passionately as hands travelled across slick skin.

A spark hotter than the bath water ignited in Harry and blazed like a flame down a fuze to his hardening groin, which was rubbing hungrily across the older seeker's own erect flesh. Blonde hair cascaded across Cedric's forehead as he trailed his kisses down Harry's neck, the soft mane tickling his nose. Grasping onto it, Harry found the buttery color lovely and rousing, realizing he had always liked that color on folks more than any other.

Trying to grab the tub's edge to regain pelvic floor, Harry's eyes rolled up to the celling in elation as the other boy's mouth and hands devoured his flesh… when suddenly he heard someone giggle. Twisting around in fear, Harry spotted a bespectacled ghost of a girl peering lewdly from a spigot; Moaning myrtle.

"Hallllo Harry" she cooed.

Harry dunked himself further under the water's surface in modesty, alerting his lustful companion;

"What's wrong Potter?" a voice, familiar, but not Cedric's, asked. Harry turned in the heated grasp he was locked in to look into the questioning grey eyes of not Cedric but… Malfoy.

" What?" Draco breathed, "Slytherin's got your tongue?"

"OOOH" Harry woke violently; heart racing and gasping for air, his wide green eyes swiveled around the morning-lit boy's dorm.

As he tried to piece together what had happened, his hands groped at his clothes as he realized he was dressed and relatively dry despite the night sweats he just suffered. Harry's mid-night thoughts had twisted into the dream and carried him well into the morning, which was not as private as the still of night; four curious and worried faces peered over Harry's sheet-strewn four poster bed.

"Blimey" Seamus murmured beside Dean, looking throughly tousled from sleep, "You ok 'arry?"

"W-what…?"

"Was it one of those dreams Harry?" Ron leaned in to look Harry right in the eye as if the answers lied there, attempting to stay cryptic as to not alert the others to the fact that Harry had been mentally connected to Voldemort lately and seeing what he saw through dreams. "Who did you see?"

Nelville cast him a wondering look but didn't dwell on it as Harry choked;

"NO-noone! It… it wasn't…"

"Oh good.” Ron sighed, appeased.

"Did you eat something weird before bed?" Dean offered helplessly, starting to lose interest and wandering back to his own side of the room.

"I reckon we should stop pressin' him" Seamus laughed, pulling his robes over his cockeyed hair, "I see now it wasn't that bad o' dream."

Harry stared, still disoriented, and tried to decipher Seamus' jest.

"Geez Harry," Ron's face screwed up in a wince, "seriously take care of that and come down for breakfast ok?"

The room cleared and fell back into silence as the tidied boys retreated to the common room, leaving Harry in a confused fell back onto his wrought sheets with a sigh, but felt a throbbing ache in his pajamas.  
Looking down, Harry saw rock hard proof that he didn't have a clue what his own sexual preferences were anymore.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High Shipper Mschmnged here,  
> So i'm sorry to the Drarry fans out there who might not be happy to see Harry paired with someone else when this fiction is supposed to be focused on the relationship between him and Draco, but i had to ease Harry into the possibility of undefined sexuality.  
> Cedric was a perfect candidate as their chemistry was always a little strange, and being a handsome well-liked guy made it easier for Harry to accept romantically vs Malfoy who he is only just now learning may have a soft side, but has yet to witness it.  
> Draco must redeem himself in some way to Harry to become attractive in more ways than just physically; Harry is the type of person who needs more than a hot bod to rock his boat ;P He's an emotional guy ya know.  
> i PROMISE, Drarry fans, their time is coming, but again, i am creating a slow build with development. be patient with me please, i want this as bad as you :)  
> i look forward to hearing your thoughts!


	3. The Anti-Crush

Mumbling muggle curses at the orange juice dribbling down his front, Harry Potter's mind, otherwise occupied, had forgotten how to hold a steady lip while drinking. Glaring at the stain through his smudged round glasses, Harry thought;

'Well, that completes my just-escaped-from-Azkaban look.'

The Gryfindor's appearance was more neglected than usual; his hereditarily untamed black hair seemed to have more whirls and cowlicks than most mornings, a fine crust of drool went unnoticed on his cheek, and he was pretty sure he put his boxers on backwards. Franticly racing about the morning, haunted by the dream he had only recently woken from, Harry didn't have time for school ties, matching socks, or table manners.

The Great Hall was obnoxiously abuzz with students awake with the high of youth only a person lucky enough to study magic could have at this time of morning. Ron was so preoccupied exclaiming; "Six more weeks till exams, this is how I die!" over and over with Dean and Seamus that he wasn't tuned in with Harry's poor mood.

Hermione already had her nose so deeply stuck between a book's spine Harry wouldn't have doubted she fell asleep reading it and woke up continuing on to the next sentence like it was the most normal thing in the world. Abusing his oozing eggs, Harry sighed heavy with the burden of knowing he was going to have to trudge through this by himself… like always (at least according to him).

The remnants of Cedric's touches tormented Harry, how real the tips of his fingers felt as they grazed attentive skin… he wasn't sure if he should feel guilty for having such sordid dreams about his deceased classmate, but its not like he asked for it to happen.

'At least,' he thought, 'it wasn't all Cedric…'

Harry choked dryly on his toast as his muse surprised himself; he had almost forgotten those heated grey eyes didn't only belong to Diggory, but also the more-mysterious-than-ever Slytherin whom was supposed to be his in-school nemesis.

How could he ever think of Malfoy like that! He had always been the most loathsome person he had ever met, throughly tainted and evil like his father. Lucius Malfoy was so conniving and deceitful, Harry didn't understand how anyone could entrust such a man with the power of politics… though as he pondered on, Potter realized that was exactly what makes a true politician, thus why Umbridge and Fudge had such success themselves. Still, Lucius was horrid, he couldn't imagine what having a man like that for a father would be like.

Harry's brow scrunched as he fell deeper into the idea, never had he tried to imagine what Draco's childhood was like, he never saw past the slimy surface of the bigotry, or, he supposed, tried to. Lucius seemed like a father that wouldn't be appeased easily, and being surrounded since birth by that hatred with no one else to teach you better… Harry had grown up around the Dursley's distain and intolerance, but somehow it's different when they are not your parents, knowing at least they are not your true family, damn the blood.

Draco was raised with all the finer things, absolutely anything he could want, no starved nights or spider bites from living in a cupboard. Knowing strife made Harry stronger in that he had to fight to live, he had to depend on himself. Draco had to depend on a man who's morals were so twisted they would be impossible to doubt, he was born as one of the few proud purebreds left and has had a very tall pedestal to climb since.

What would Lucius do if he knew his one and only son had become infatuated with the same boy trying to overthrow their Dark Lord! Harry was sure the man would have no qualms with using a few illegal curses against his own son as long as they left him intact enough to learn his lesson and carry on with the family's pristine bloodline. A disturbing shiver ran up Harry's spine at the thought, as he couldn't help but pity the blonde boy for the first time in his life.

Glancing across the hall, he could see the Inquisitorial Squad laughing boisterously; most likely retelling a horrifying tale about how they abused their powers on some innocent first year. Pansy Parkinson flipped her hair pompously as she whispered to the story teller himself; Draco Malfoy.

Harry tried to look inconspicuous as he stared at the beguiling young man, seeing him in a new light; his porcelain skin hadn't seen a hard day in its life- barely so much as a blemish- yet Harry smirked, for he was sure he could see the tiniest scar from where Hermione had punched him in their third year. Having shed his bulky school robes, it was clear Draco was the perfect build for a seeker; his slender frame stood barely taller than Potter himself, slight compact muscles Harry had never noticed before showed through the thin school shirt when strained. Blaise must have said something humorous because Draco's mouth smirked in this tiny signature fashion that almost created a dimple, above which his grey eyes squinted back in a familiar way… and looked right at him.

Almost knocking a plate of hot bacon grease onto himself, Harry hastily turned away, chest heaving from a racing heart- it was as if he had only narrowly dodged a Hungarian Horntail! What was wrong with him? He mustn't forget who Draco is, who he thinks he is. Only thinks, doesn't know… throughly confused, Harry tried to reel back to a more pressing matter- why was he fancying other boys at all? He could have sworn he liked girls, why else would he have obsessed over Cho? She may have been the only one, but still, he had really wanted to kiss her once, before she became such a mess. Harry was pretty sure when he was really quite young there had been a girl that lived a few blocks over that made his heart pitter-patter in the sweet childish way kids get.  
Harry never really had much time to think about his sexual preferences before, he had always been preoccupied with his spell work, the Dursley's chores, and Hagrid's affinity for dangerous 'babies'. Though now, with Defense Against the Dark Arts being so easy, the ban from quidditch, and Voldemort not turning up at the school to kill him yet, he had a lot more time to ponder. That and Harry wasn't quite ready to worry about exams in six weeks time yet.

Suddenly Potter remembered that his time was now also preoccupied by Occlumency lessons with Snape and felt the dread well up in him. He hadn't practiced clearing his mind before bed in some time and last night was the worst example of them all, how was he going to keep the slimy-haired professor out of his head if Harry couldn't get out of it himself?  
Sure he wouln't be able to meditate into a clear mind, but not wanting to go the day without trying, Harry's face contracted in consentration as he repeatedly thought; 'Clear… clear… no more thoughts…'

"Harry?" Hermione asked, looking over the tattered spine of her book, concerned. "Is everything alright? What's wrong?"

"Nothing! Nothing…" Harry brushed her off, resigning to try again later, maybe in his duller classes.

Then, without so much as a nod to his mates, Harry tore out of the Great Hall, wanting to find some peace and quiet before his long, and most likely, doomed day. Imagining the horrified screwed up face Snape would contort at the discovery of Harry's recent memories, Potter tripped a tad over a usually well-known cracked flagstone. Steadying himself on an offended painting, Harry scolded himself once more for not clearing his mind and sulked off to face his glum day.

************************************************************************************************************

A day of classes complete, Harry still hadn't managed to clear his mind of emotion and lingering thoughts about blonde, grey-eyed boys. Harry was supposed to be storing important information for his O.W.L.s, such as Substantive charms and Goblin war histories, in his mind, but it was occupied by the slide of Cedric's sinewy chest (or was it Draco's?) against his own. Every time Harry tried to wipe his mind blank, he instead felt the intense jet of heat rocket down his person straight to his groin as memories of the dream flooded back.

After a particularity vivid thought; below the bath's surface, where lower halves pressed against each other in elation, Harry had to attempt to be interested in locomotive charms as if his life depended on them, before his body betrayed his day-dreams. Harry even had to rush off to dinner with his school satchel uncomfortably knocking about his front, attempting to hide himself in case his thoughts got away from him in the halls.

A 'Chubby Cannon', affectionately nick-named by immature quidditch enthusiasts, was a common problem amongst the student body, being that they were all budding teenagers. Luckily boys had as many ways to hide a whomping woodie as girls had to hide their feminine products. The Weasley twin's products were the latest and greatest to use; Nosebleed Nougats would make the blood rush away from your hard-on and back to your head, hanging a Vanishing Hat on the bulge made it completely unnoticeable, or simply setting off a Weasley's Wildfire Whiz-bang firework in the hallway was a great distraction. Harry had none of these options at his disposal but luckily never needed any, though narrowly.

Quickly Harry scarfed down a hot meal from the glorious aray of food in the Great Hall, eager to get his horrid Occlumency class done and over with. With a final wipe of a napkin, Harry deemed himself as ready as he could be and set off for Snape's office, yet no sooner had Potter gotten into the entrance hall when a pretty Ravenclaw seeker streaking towards him caught his eye.

"Oi, 'arry!" She called out nervously, arms laden with books. Harry ushered her out of the center of the hall to converse in front of the dismal hourglass display where the Gryfindor's low house points were glaringly apparent.

"Hi, Cho," Harry scanned the hall for Inquisitorial Squad members as he spoke, hushed, "Are you doing ok? Umbridge hasn't been poking about has she?"

"No, no, i just wanted to say… oh Harry, i'm so sorry about my friend… i didn't know she would talk about the D.A. like that… she's honestly a great person…"

"Well, your 'friend' ratted us all out as well as you," Harry snapped, impatient, "You ought to get a better judge of character. Your choices on who you spent your time with effected us all."

"I spent my time with you, don't i?" Her almond eyes began to squint and flutter franticly, clearly holding back the water works she was becoming quite famous for. "I spent my time with Cedric didn't i? Are you saying Cedric wasn't a great guy? "

"No!" Taken aback by the name he wasn't ready for, Harry lashed out; "What, are you going to start crying again?"

"I'm not going to cry!" She hissed, fighting pointlessly against the tears already clouding her eyes, "Answer my question!"

"I already did! Cedric was great, blah blah blah, i don't want to talk about him right now, i've got enough to cope with as is!"

"Fine." Cho whipped her hair back as if it was a punctuation, and Harry noticed it was dull and stringy. In fact, Cho suddenly wan't very attractive to Harry at all; her beady vexed eyes reminded him of Umbridge's, her hunched posture was horribly submissive, and her flat personality just didn't challenge Harry. He wanted more, he wanted someone who wouldn't necessarily argue, but debate with him, force him to look at things in a new light, redefine or solidify ideals and goals bigger than just petty coffee dates. Feeling his crush for Cho shatter in a heartbeat, he felt no misgivings in his choices as she stormed off yelling;

"Go and cope then!"

With no shred of loss or shame, just a burning resentment for dramatics and tattle-tale rats, Harry set off to the dungeons for Occluemncy at last. Giving up every last bit of hope that he would come to a calm with his churning sea of emotions, Harry let his mind get creative with bitting comebacks he wished he had told Cho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High Shipper Mschmnged decrees, we are getting there! So far these events have taken place in only a matter of two days, and this long arduous day isn't over for Harry yet!  
> He still has an Occlumency lesson, an interesting run in with Malfoy himself, an eye opening life lesson from someone unexpected, and a nights sleep ahead- perhaps wrought with more dreams?  
> Thank you all so much for your comments, interest and time! i hope you all continue on this journey with me!


	4. The Remedial Potions

"So… have you been practicing?"

Snape had a holier-than-thou squint in his eyes, piercing through the long oily hair that grazed his shoulders, black-clad as usual. Wrapping his long robes around himself as he crossed his arms disapprovingly, Snape stood beside the glimmering Pensieve that belonged to the renegade Dumbledore, whom had insisted upon these classes for Harry. Their usefulness was still lost on Harry, as he felt he had been becoming weaker since starting, rousing suspicions in him that Snape's intentions were not what Dumbledore proclaimed.

Harry nodded dishonestly at his most hated professor and simply took stance as Snape sneered; "Let's see about that. Wand at the ready."

With nothing but a battered desk separating them, Harry still felt uncomfortably close to the teacher, the dungeon classroom looked as though the walls were huddled closer together, the ceiling a tad lower. His face grew hot as lingering hatred for Cho, anxiety from lack of practice and fear for the dreams Snape would soon discover chattered in his head, filling it rather than emptying it.

What would Snape be more upset about? Harry failing at mastering Occlumency? Harry's hands molesting the potion master's prize student under steamy bath water? Harry did not want his own father's school nemesis to have this leverage on him, Snape never seemed to have boundaries about taunting his own students in class, Harry being his favorite to call out.

"Shall i count down then?" Snape drawled, wand pointed straight at Potter's vulnerable forehead. "One… two…thee, Legilimens!"

Snape's weathered face swam in Harry's vision, colors blurred like water paints and began to form another scene; in the middle of Privet Drive's playground, a chipmunk-cheeked girl smiled at Harry's five year old self, causing him to blush…  
There was an eleven year old Malfoy offering Harry his hand in friendship before the fateful hat sorting. Harry paused, all other students falling silent upon sensing the tension in the air. He considered for a second the life he would have as this boy's friend, what if denying this was the wrong choice? Harry's hand twitched and then…

On the bridge along the one of the school's many valleys, Cedric was smiling that enigma fillled smirk at Harry as he said "Take a bath… mull things over… trust me." His large hands clasped Harry's shoulder tightly, he could feel the warmth of it seep through the sleeve of his shirt…  
Then Harry wasn't wearing anything at all, dappled in bubbles, still feeling the weight of Cedric's hand on his shoulder, sliding down his arm, teasing across his abdomen…

'No! No, stop watching, don't look!' The voice in Harry's head protested, remembering he wasn't the only one getting an eyeful of the wet sculpted flesh before him. The taunting hand of the Hufflepuff dipped below the water's surface, unseen under the perfumed layer of foam, grasping onto Harry's attentive cock. A guttural growl escaped Harry, head whipping back in elation as he bucked into the stroking palm. Feeling the other boy's damp face nuzzle into his neck, Harry blinked open his eyes only to find himself locked in a wolfish stare with Draco Malfoy. The Slytherin's soaked pale hair was plastered to the side of his face, candlelight flickered off the water's surface and highlighted the fetching boy's cheekbones.

"Whats the matter, Potter?" He whispered at Harry for the second time in his life, "Slytherin's got your tongue?" Mesmerized by the words forming from Draco's playful smirk, Harry just stared at the boy's lips as they advanced towards his…

"POTTER!"

Harry hissed in pain as his knee smacked into a nearby desk, Snape had lifted the spell but it left Harry disoriented. His head throbbed as the dungeon swirled back into view, the man towered over him now, face contorting into many emotions. Harry saw fear, anger, disgust and amusement flicker in and out of Snape's wide eyes.

“Explain," Snape growled, "Why your dreams have changed from the Department of Mysteries to… to…"

"S-sir i…" It was Harry's worst nightmare, cowering in Snape's shadow; he was having a hard enough time trying to explain his dreams to himself, let alone his most disliked teacher.

"You realize the Dark Lord is connected to your mind? Can you not grasp the importance of clearing your thoughts and not succumbing weakly to your sick desires of flesh? He sees what you see Potter, he will use—!"

"Professor? Sir, we've found Montague! He was— oh!"

Having stopped fast in his tracks, Draco Malfoy stared owlishly at Harry Potter, rouge strands of golden hair falling across his brow. Time paused awkwardly for a gratuitous stretch, the scene obviously quite foreign to intruders. Snape was quick to holster his wand but Harry and Draco stayed in a locked gaze like chess masters waiting for their opponent to make a move.

Draco looked pressed and well-put-together, his Inquisitorial Squad badge gleamed on his heaving chest. Flushed cheeks and parted lips from heavy breathing were a dead give away that Malfoy had been dashing to the dungeons on a mission. Harry couldn't look away as Draco's eyes fluttered as if trying to be sure he was truly seeing Harry before him. Suddenly self-aware, Harry had the strong urge to steal a glimpse of himself in something reflective to check his own appearance.

"Yes Malfoy?" Snape drew attention back onto himself, "Your interrupting Potter's Remedial Potions."  
Harry rounded on Snape, glaring daggers, 'remedial potions?' his eyes screamed at the professor, 'That is the worst thing possible to tell Malfoy! He'll tease me with that one, he'll think I'm stupid!' Suddenly Harry caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the Pensieve; hair crazied, glasses crooked and cheeks a fiery color not dissimilar to a Weasley's coif.  
'Fan-fucking-tastic,' he thought, 'If Malfoy still has his heart set on me after today i'll eat Bubotuber pus.' Not ready to dwell on why that was his first concern in this situation, Harry turned back around to face Malfoy, attempting to inconspicuously straighten himself out.

"I'm sorry Sir, i wasn't aware there was such a class." The blonde was positively glowing, looking happier than the boy's old house elf receiving a sock. This infuriated Harry, if Draco was so in love with him as he admitted in the Slytherin common room, why was he still acting like a insufferable prick? Harry questioned for a brief moment if he was deluded and just imagined the whole confession; being the-boy-who-lived had been stretching him thin, who's to say the Unforgivable Curse Voldemort cast on him didn't scramble his eggs a little?

"Yes well, when theres a need for it, i provide, can't say i'm not charitable." Snape joined in on the 'subtle' ribbing, “Now, can i help you Malfoy?"

"Professor Umbridge needs your help on the fourth floor, Montague is wedged pretty deep in one of the toilets. Not sure how it happened really, he's a bit loopy…"

"Yes yes, we will have to postpone our lessons till tomorrow, Potter." Snape hurried from his office, leaving Draco and Malfoy alone for a brief moment that felt like eons. Harry couldn't recall the last time they were in a room alone together, Malfoy had always been flanked by cronies, but Harry knew there was no way it had been since Madam Malkins. Draco had grown so much since then, he was much taller than when that witch messured him for robes, pale face sculpted sharply without the puppy fat they all had in youth. His thin smirk had stayed the same, still dripping with sass as he mouthed at Harry; 'Remedial Potions?'

Furious that Malfoy now thinks he's taking Potions-for-dipshits, Harry didn't stop to think as he silently mouthed back his retort; 'Suck my dick, Malfoy.'  
Malfoy looked as if he had been hit with a Petrificus Totalus spell; his mouth gaped, grey eyes open wide in shock and his body became ridged. Though this effect did not last long, Draco quickly regained his composure and stormed out of the classroom after Snape, but not before he hissed; "In your dreams, Potter!"

Alone and amused, Harry enjoyed Malfoy's reaction a little too much. He was pleased he could get such a rise out of his nemesis, it was usually much harder to ruffle his feathers… and he could have sworn he saw Malfoy's face splotch with pink just before the door slammed shut. Harry's mind raced with ideas now that he had gained a newfound secret weapon to taunt Draco with, he might not be able to share his triumphs with Ron but if they would be anything like what just transpired, Harry would be happy all the same. He may have had hesitations before about cluing Malfoy into what he now knows but the reaction was priceless, Harry was sure he could get Draco to make that face again if he could think of more insinuating comebacks.

Wanting as much distance between him and Snape as to avoid confrontation about what he unwillingly showed in Occlumency, Harry pocketed his wand and rushed to the door, yet a glimmer caught his eye. Dumbledore's Pensieve churned calmly in its basin, flickering out lights suggestively as if it held secrets it couldn't wait to share. Then it hit Harry; Snape had been using it to empty his mind before their lessons in case Harry managed to turn the spell back on him like he had weeks ago. Snape was not pleased when Harry successfully penetrated his mind and saw the sad school years of the odd boy that was now his grown teacher.

Curiosity ebbed inside of him, it seemed only fair to take a peek, Snape had forcibly watched memories from Harry he didn't want him to see, now it was his turn; eye for an eye, memory for a memory. Maybe there were pieces from his troubled childhood again, or maybe even moments from meeting with The Order of the Phoenix, answers about the Department of Mysteries even; Snape knew he had been dreaming about those halls…

If Harry's heart had been beating hard enough before, now it was threatening to burst out of his chest. it was too much to take, Harry assured himself it would take quite a while to budge the burly Slytherin Quidditch captain from the toilets all the way up on the fouth floor, and sounded as if no one was close by in the dungeons, the halls eerily silent. Harry tugged his wand back out from his robes, giving the swirling sliver goop a light poke that sent it whisking about; the surface bean to resemble a room Harry was not familiar with, raising his curiosity to a dangerous level.

Unable to take the nervous heat tossing about in his stomach any longer, Harry plunged into the Pensieve, glasses first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High Shipper Mschmnged;  
> the first memory Harry sees will not be of Snapes' school days, they'll be tom something a little more current...


	5. The Cult

One thing Harry was sure of, he was at least still in Hogwarts. A draft chilled the air, even colder than the one he had left, so he deduced that he must still be deep in the bowels of the school's dungeons. The room was mostly bare, it wasn't clear if the room even had a purpose outside of homing a few dusty arm chairs. Three large ragged portraits hung half-hazard on the walls, or at least Harry assumed they had been portraits for their frames had been abandoned.

Potter almost thought he was alone until he remembered this was supposed to be a memory of Snape's… where was he though? The room was ominously dark, lit by a lone bracket aflame on the wall, casting many shadows in the corners. Harry squinted at a moth-eaten drape, he could have sworn it moved a little…

"Malfoy."

Harry jumped and screamed embarrassingly loud when Snape spoke directly behind him, stepping out from the dark to greet the approaching Slytherin student. Sometimes Harry thought Snape was the most terrifying person he'd ever meet, despite how ridiculous it is saying a teacher is more frightening than a deranged man calling himself The Dark Lord.

"Professor, i'm sorry i needed to see you, i need to talk…" Draco was looking frazzled, wringing his hands and constantly looking over his shoulder. It became clear it was the dead of night because Draco wore a casual thin grey t-shirt and cotton pajama bottoms; the most simply dressed Harry had ever seen him… it somehow made Draco look more human to him.

"You may call me Severus, Draco, this is obviously is something personal. Now, what has you like this?" Harry blinked. Snape almost sounded soft there, kindness peeking through the black the professor always wrapped himself in. He watched in awe as Snape placed a comforting hand on Draco's quivering shoulder. The nervous boy took in a sharp deep breath and spilled out his thoughts without pause;

"I'm having doubts about the closeness of my family with the Dark Lord's agenda. I'm scared something bad is going to happen, what if my father screws up the plan? What will he-who-shall-not-be-named do? What will he do to my mother? What will he do to me? Don't get me wrong, i do agree mudbloods and muggles are inferior, stuff like that, but what we do to them… will i have to do those things if the plan succeeds? I don't think i can really… but the Dark Lord won't like that either, so no matter which way the plan goes i'm… i'm… i'm not strong enough for this, please, Seveus I'm scared that i'll…"

"You are strong enough Draco, you're stronger than you think. I'm afraid things are too far along now, if your father choses to follow the Dark Lord's plan that is his choice. You must put faith in your father, Draco."

"No, you're just saying that!" Draco retorted, eyes swimming, "You don't have faith in my father! You know something is wrong here! I can feel it Severus, i can feel that you're uncertain of all this too! If my father fails it's going to fall on me!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Draco!" Snape grasped the shaking boy's shoulders, trying to hold him steady; "We don't know that, you're just a boy, the Dark Lord won't…"

"SINCE WHEN DOES THE DARK LORD CARE?"

Snape sighed, a look in his eyes betrayed that he was out of ideas. "Draco…"

"I… I just want things to go back to normal. If the Dark Lord had never been alive my family wouldn't have to fight to stay respected! If my father didn't have to do all these insane things just to keep this man happy, maybe he would be around more for his REAL family!"

Harry walked up close to look into Draco's chaotic grey eyes, they had begun to spill over involentarily now. He recognized the pain, the pain of losing your family, but this was different, Harry had lost his parents against their will, Draco's father was choosing to rip his family apart by putting his loyalties into destructive beliefs and a dangerous cult. There was something worse in this, and it made Harry's heart break for Draco. He instinctively reached out for his peer, but his hand passed right through him, reminding Harry this was just a memory, one he was never intended to see.

"Draco," Snape pulled the boy back to his supportive embrace, which Malfoy sagged into; defeated. "Draco, once your father succeeds, yes boy, succeeds, your Dark Lord will reward him and all will go back to normal. Your father won't have to prove himself anymore and he can turn his attentions back to you and your mother, i'll even talk to him about that."

Snape's words were so comforting Harry almost didn't catch that this was finally a confession on where Snape's loyalties lie. 'I knew it!' Harry thought, 'I have to tell Dumbledore he was wrong!' Yet he began to feel conflicted, surprised Dumbledore was wrong about something… often Harry forgot this greatest wizard of all time was human too.

Suddenly Draco resurfaced from Snape's grasp, pulling away to sink into one of the neglected armchairs.

"I want him to like me." Draco choked out, eyes cast down shamefully. "Your father?" Snape said surprised.

"…No… um," Draco sounded stumped, unsure how to put together his next confession.

"Draco, if we are not talking about your father anymore what are we talking about? Are you infatuated with someone? Are you telling me you have feelings for another boy?" Now Harry was the one who was surprised, Snape didn't seem nonplussed this time, he asked so casually. Draco looked just as shocked, knuckles turning white as he clasped the dusty armchair for support.

"Wha… Professor… did you…?"

"There had been a few clues along the years as i've watched you grow into the young man you are now, and you're not very good with secrets Draco, maybe you should stop confiding in your family's house elves."

"Dobby?" Harry exclaimed aloud, quickly clasping his hands to his mouth in attempt to shush himself. Feeling idiotic, Harry remembered once again no one could hear him. 'What does he mean about Dobby? If Draco told him about this why did he never tell me…" Then he remembered the night he met the amorous house elf, dressed in nothing but a ragged pillow case… "So long Dobby wanted to meet you, sir… Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir…"

Where could Dobby have heard of Harry's 'greatness'? He was the Malfoy's house elf, never allowed to leave the masion he was enslaved to clean, with no one else but Lucius, whom hated Harry deeply, Narcissa, whom barely knows Harry but probably hates him too on principal, and Draco… had Draco been talking about Harry fondly to Dobby ever since their first year? Back when Harry rebuffed his friendship?

"M-my house elf… told you?" Draco looked completely aghast, his face now turning as white as his knuckles.

"I just overheard him with that other elf as they cleaned my chamber, i was having a poor time sleeping. He didn't say much, just was telling the other elf to stop obsessing over this boy she used to serve, the same way his old master used to obsess over one of his peers. I never heard who, if thats what you're worried about, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Draco."

Relief washed over the pale Slytherin, he sunk back into the armchair, sending a cloud of dust up swirling around him. Harry wished he could feel the same solace, but Snape now knew Harry was thinking about Draco in very revealing ways. At least only Harry would have to endure Snape's wrath, he hadn't seen Harry's memory of witnessing Draco's confession to Pansy Parkinson, Draco didn't need to feel any more stress than what he was already dealing with. Harry was sure he would crack if he lost the support of the man who was there for him more than his own father. Harry felt the strong urge to protect Draco, something he had never even remotely worried about before.

"Draco, i think you should get some sleep. I'll send a house elf to your chambers with a hot cup of cocoa, come now boy…" The professor reached down and attempted to pull Malfoy from the chair, but the distraught student caught his arm and pulled him close instead.

"The weapon my father has to get… is he-who-shall-not-be-named going to use it to kill Harry?"

Snape was clearly thrown off, kneeling down beside the armrest to look into the boy's eyes directly.

"Well, yes that has always been the Dark Lord's plan to kill Har— Draco… Why did you call him Harry?" Snape began to rise, eyes flaring with realization, "Draco. Why. Do. You. Care," Now rage took over the man, "ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO POTTER?"

Snape ripped the boy from the chair, clutching the grey T Draco wore so tightly he practically lifted him so his toes only grazed the floor. Draco held onto the fists at his chest desperatly, looking pleadingly into his professor's eyes. "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? AT A TIME LIKE THIS?"

"I know, i know! I'm so sorry, honestly i didn't mean to—!"

"IF YOUR FATHER FINDS OUT! IF VOLDEMORT—!" Draco cringed at the name, now sobbing again. Snape stopped abruptly at the sight, slowly lowering the boy back down, but not losing his grip. It seemed to be the only thing holding Draco up as he cowered limply.

"Draco." Snape spoke in almost a whisper, "You must stop this nonsense. Squash these… feelings. It's preposterous and you're only going to get yourself killed, or worse."

"I'm— i'm trying…"Draco whimpered, "I… I c-can't."

The vision of Snape now protectively clutching Draco's head to his chest began to melt, the flame of a lone bracket began to swirl around, leaving light trails through the bleeding shadows.

Harry wasn't ready to leave, but the Pensieve had a new memory it wanted to share. ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High Shipper Mschfmnged decrees Snape should watch his blood pressure with all this stress he's under. Things never go well for him, we'll see that is true in the next memory as well...  
> ***


	6. The Love Letter

Harry Potter welcomed the warm sticky air of Hogwart's grounds nearing summer, he had almost begun to worry he'd never get the chill of the dungeons out of his bones. Harry had been immersed in Snape's memory of his school days for twenty minutes or so already, happily following the younger versions of his father, Sirius, Lupin and Wormtail out of their O.W.L. exams. Yet he made sure to keep close to Snape as well, Harry feared the memory would abruptly end if he wandered too far from his youthful potions master.

Snape was meandering about, pouring over exam questions from behind his curtain of long oily hair. He absent-mindedly plopped down behind some shrubs a short distance from the young marauders; whom had taken rest near a large tree Harry recognized as the one he, Hermione and Ron loved to frequent. He delighted in sharing the same pastimes as his father, watching Wormtail 'ooh' and 'ahh' as James repeatedly captured a snitch he had stolen from the quidditch supplies somehow. Lupin reminded Harry of Hermione as he cracked open a book and propped himself up comfortably against the tree, and Sirius channeled Ron as he lazied next to his friend and people-watched.

Listening attentively to their discourse as if watching his favorite tv programs, Harry didn't even notice young Snape had uprooted from the shrubbery and was rapidly approaching the clique.

As if smelling prey, Sirius turned and sneered; "Excellent… it's Snivellus."

No longer clutching the O.W.L. papers but instead a mysterious torn piece of parchment, Snape approached, looking rather nervous and flushed. Sirius and James stood defensively as the other two stayed where they were, Lupin not caring for confrontation at all.

"What do you want, Snivellus?" James grinned devilishly.

Snape didn't even look at Harry's father, eyes locked on Black, "Can i talk to you?"

"You can say whatever you want right here, Snivelly!" James edged a little closer, standing much taller than the cowering Slytherin student. He was quite intimidating, years of quidditch had done his physique well; sinew and muscle made themselves apparent under his school shirt as Potter crossed his arms appraisingly.

"A-alone please, Black…"

Snape reached out to grab Sirius's shoulder but before he could make contact, James whipped out his wand and yelled; "Impedimenta!" sending Snape hard down to the ground as if he had been bound with invisible ropes. His school things went flying, scattering at the feet of the triumphant pair of Gryfindors.

"Sorry Snivelly, but i don't want you getting grease on my friend here!" Potter cackled, kneeling beside the wriggling body he just entrapped.

James took the torn-up parchment Snape had been clutching, earning a few nasty curse words from his victim. This just encouraged the boy's tormentor, clueing him in that he had found something Snape didn't want him to see.

"What do we have here?" He drawled, flattening the creases, "Ahem… 'Dear Severus, I've been watching you for a while now, you're quite interesting…' Oh, are you interesting to someone, Snivels? Is this a love letter?"

Snape struggled violently against his jinx's bounds, beginning to turn a nasty shade of purple. The boisterous scene was now capturing the attention of many other students whom had been enjoying the grounds; some excited, some nervous.

"Let's keep reading, yes? 'You're so amazing at your classes, i would love private tutoring from you. I'm sure i would learn many things and maybe i could teach you a few new things as well…' Oh ho ho, steamy! You've got a wild one here, Snivellus! 'It might be taboo, but the idea of being with you, kissing you, makes me not care what people would say. Write back soon, could be yours; Lover-boy'…what?"

James' face lit up like a christmas tree, he had just hit the jackpot, but Snape's face fell in defeat, he knew he would never ever live this down.

"Lover boy!? Oh Snivellus! You have a GUY that wants to suck your greasy face!"

Sirius snickered, standing back and letting Potter reign as ringleader as he stalked about, showing off the love letter to anyone who would look.

"HA! Did you respond Snivy? Did you write him a love letter back? Are you going to let this guy suck the grease out of your—"

"Leave him ALONE!"

Harry and the others turned to see a girl storming angrily towards them, red hair flowing behind her like a wildfire.

"Evans, how's it going?" James sauntered over to her slyly, obviously smitten.

"Why can't you just leave Severus alone? What's he done to you?" She crossed her arms menacingly, glaring up into the face of her future husband with her familiar green eyes.

"Well, he exists…" He chortled, smiling wickedly at his audience as they laughed with him. Harry's father had the schools loyalty and admiration, James earned it through expertise in quidditch, smart remarks and dangerously good looks. Even though Harry inherited all this, most of his claim to fame followed him since infancy, and James had an abundance of confidence that didn't carry over in genes.

As Lily continued to tell James off, Harry became distracted by a whispered conversation beside him, a conversation only meant for two. Harry realized he seemed to be getting caught in a lot of these situations lately.

"S-sirius, please unbind me, i just want to talk about the let—"

"Shut up Snivellus, i thought i warned you." Sirius wouldn't look at Snape, not even long enough to notice that he was slowly regaining some of his movement back.

"But i just didn't understand why—"

"What did i just say? Stop talking to me right now or i will bash your face in."

Suddenly there was a flash of blinding light, James let out a yelp; Snape had managed to wriggle over to where his wand had fallen and sent a curse slicing across James's face. A second spell ripped across the gap and hit Snape's legs, lifting him effortlessly into the air as if hoisted by a hook. His robes fell and reveled parts of the Slytherin Harry wasn't prepared to see, causing him to blush out of empathy. Harry began to feel sick to his stomach, everything was happening so fast and so horribly. Snape dangled hopelessly as the crowd roared with laughter, James smirking as his wand kept him suspended.

"Let him down!" Lily yelled, face twitching slightly as if holding back an involuntary smile.

James complied and broke the spell's connection; Snape collided with the ground, yet before he could get his barings, Sirius cast "Locomotor Mortis!" knocking the victimized student backwards like a rigid board.

"Stop it! Stop it now!" Lily was now waving her own wand threateningly, yet neither of the marauders looked concerned.

"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods!" Snape's mouth clearly had not bound by the spell. Everyone fell silent, staring at the abused boy, appalled at his retort to the one person standing up for him. The vultures, enticed by the drama, looked to Lily for her response.

"Well," she said flatly, "I won't help anymore then… Snivellus."

"Apologize to Evans!" James yelled, grabbing Snape by the front of his robes, lifting him stiffly off the ground by a few inches.

"I don't want you to force him to say sorry, you're as terrible as he is, Potter! You make me SICK!" Lily turned on her heels and tore off towards the castle, other students trailing after her, seeing how the situation had turned awkward.

James dropped Snape's body to the ground, still cursed firm as a board, and ran after Lily, "Evans! EVANS WAIT!"

Wormtail trotted alongside the friend he admired closely, attempting to keep up with James's athletic stride. Slowly Lupin shut the book he had stayed buried in through the entire ordeal, and stood, brushing pieces of grass from his well-worn school robes. Leisurely, he strode to the castle at his own pace, calling back to Sirius;

"Take that curse off Snape already will you?"

Yet as Lupin disappeared out of view, Sirius smirked in a mischievous way that gave Harry the distinct feeling taking the curse off Snape was not his plan. Sure enough, the handsome young man sauntered back to the ridged body of Snape and sat down beside him, criss-crossing his legs in a deceivingly innocent way.

"Oh Snivellus… what am i to do with you?"

"Let me go!" Snape suggested angrily.

"Well i can see i need to work on my jinxes, you're not supposed to be able to talk…" Sirius chuckled to himself, clearly the only one to find this amusing. He ruffled his shaggy mane of hair and laid down in the grass beside Snape, gazing out into the vast blue skies above Hogwarts. There was a moment of silence and they took in the rusting of leaves in the breeze, it was almost peaceful until Harry remembered Snape was there against his will.

"Why did you give me that letter?" Snape mumbled, sound of defeat thick in his voice.

"Dear sweet Snivals," Sirius laughed, "I warned you not to try and talk to me in person! You were just supposed to write back! Have you no sense for romance?"

"I just don't understand…"

"You were suppose to write back, i was going to see what i could get you to say, i'm quite disappointed you didn't follow my instructions." Turning on his side to look at his immoible victim, Sirius propped his head in his hand and pouted comically.

"Normally i wouldn't pull the mistake of revealing my evil plans, but they've come to fruition a little… premature. Now, i know you're not into guys, i've seen the way you stare at Evans, its silly honestly."

Snape snarled, about to retort, but Sirius shushed him with a finger to his lips.

"Let me finish Snivellus. Like i said, i know you're not interested in having a lover-boy, but it's amazing what a person will say when someone opens up to them vulnerably. I just wanted something damning to parade in front of the others… luckily you didn't completely ruin the fun, that was still quite a show just now, eh?" Sirius slapped Snape on the cheek smartly as if congratulating him, laughing despite the daggers in Snape's gaze.

"So you didn't mean it? It was just a joke?" Snape hissed, no longer fighting the curse he was placed under.

"You're too cute Snivels, no i don't find you interesting. No i don't think you're ahhhmazing in class." Sirius leaned in close, close enough for their noses to touch. He paused as Snape's breath caught in his chest in shock, "And no, i don't want to kiss you."

Harry sat there appalled, not knowing how to take in what he was seeing. Here he was, upset at his father's behavior, yet Sirius was torturing Snape on a whole different level. Harry had never seen anyone do something so deceptively cruel just to taunt a fellow student. What did Snape ever do to deserve this kind of torture? Sirius just kept pushing his boundaries, now trailing his fingers up and down Snape's magically bound chest, just to toy with him. Snape's face, unable to hide behind his curtain of hair, bared a burning red hue to Sirius's amusement.

"So sorry Snivellus, but you're not my type. I have my eyes on someone smarter. Someone handsomer. Someone who can be—" He grasped Snape by the belt and pulled him in close, "A real beast between the sheets."

There was no gap between them now as they lay in the grass, anyone looking out from the castle might think they were just one very large Hagrid-sized student. Harry stomach lurched as he thought maybe they were kissing, edging forward warily to see they were not, but only barely. Sirius was whispering now, not even looking Snape in the eyes,

"Unfortunately he'll never see me that way, even though i see all of him, i do everything for him, i became this animal for him… only once in a blue moon does he even notice me, i have to pull stunts like this and he still doesn't even look up…" Sirius was lost in his transgressions now, hands absentmindedly traveling across the creases in Snape's robes.

"S-stop it." Snape hissed, straining now.

"Don't act like you don't like the attention!" Sirius snapped, realizing he was in the midst of taunting his nemesis, "You won't ever get it from anyone else, no one will want you like how i want him, you should just be grateful to get be a surrogate!" Sirius shoved Snape on his back, sitting up and pointing his wand in his face violently.

"And now you have to live with it! Live with being the gay-boy, live with being the fruit! You already pine for someone you will never have so its not like your life will change much! If anything, now you can swoon over Evans without fear of James cutting you up because he'll think you just want her as your beard! So you're very welcome, Snivels!"

Sirius seemed to be realizing he was spiraling out of control. He took in a few deep sharp breaths, opening himself up to oncoming breezes of summer. Snape just looked up hopelessly at the distraught, still devilishly handsome Gryfindor, making no attempt to break the jinx he was under. He must have known to resist Sirius at this point would only bring on worse things than what he was already enduring.

"Let me go Black, please."

"No." Sirius clenched his eyes shut as if letting go of reason. "No, i don't think i will."

Sirius pressed the tip of his wand sharply into the underside of Snape's chin and let his other hand travel slowly down his victim.

"How about i take off Snivelly's clothes and leave him here for someone else to find like some pervert?"

Yet whether Sirius carried out on his threat or not, Harry wouldn't get to see, for a hand latched onto his forearm menacingly, capturing his full attention. Harry's stomach dropped painfully as he turned to see the adult version of Severus Snape attached to the arm that had him in a death grip.

"Enjoying yourself Potter?" He snapped, more enraged than Harry had ever seen him. As if yanked by a fish line hooked into his belly, Harry plummeted into the summer sky, through vast darkness, then smacked into the cold hard flagstone of the dungeons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High Shipper Mschmnged notices poor Snape always gets the short end of the stick, and not in the fun smutty way :( This memory was not only needed in the actual books, but this 'twisted' version is needed for explaining Snape's actions and feelings that will flourish throughout this fiction.


	7. The House Points

"What the HELL were you thinking?"

Harry's mind whirled as though he had been smacked in the head with a bludger; his eyes twisted and contorted his vision in a way that made Professor Snape appear scarier than ever before. At first, all Harry could make out was a overbearing mass of black with angry flared eyes and gashing white teeth… it was a thing of Harry's nightmares, and it was coming at him fast. Snape lifted Harry from the ground in his pincer-like grasp; thrashing the boy about carelessly.

"Amusing weren't they, Potter? Did you find them funny?"

"N-no, i didn't—"

Harry didn't know how many more blows to the head he could take, but Snape didn't seem to think he'd had enough. The professor threw him with all his might across the classroom, sending him toppling into a desk with a sick crunch. Mustering what strength he could, Harry scrambled as far away as possible, trying to see straight long enough to find a door.

"You will not say a word! To anyone! I will kill you myself if you do! Now out!" Snape screeched, "OUT! I don't want to see heads or tails of you ever again!"

Jars of dead pickled items bombed around Harry as he fumbled his way out, running as far as his feet would take him. it wasn't until he was three floors away that Harry could no longer move; both out of pain and not knowing where he even wanted to go.

Chest heaving, Harry clawed at his throat, feeling as though he had inhaled shards of glass as he ran. Yet as he looked about, no water to drink was in sight, so he collapsed in an alcove and waited for his body to compensate with saliva and oxygen. His eyes whirled about franticly, finally beginning to see things as there were and not as swirling confusing terrors; he could see he was not far from the toilets Draco was claiming Montague had magically reappeared in. He could go get a drink there… maybe Draco would still be there.

'No!' He thought to himself, 'You're just making excuses to run into him. Besides, he probably left a long time ago.'

Harry sat there, remembering how he made Malfoy blush before slipping into the Pensive, how amazing that was getting a rise out of him. Draco was normally such a delicate pale color, practically flawless skin with blood boiling so close to the surface, Harry would bet he could get him to blush as red a tomato if he tried. Those grey eyes could get so wide… Harry painfully recalled the tears trickling down from them as Draco let slip about his feelings in Snape's first memory.

So it was confirmed, if Harry wasn't sure he heard Draco confess to Pansy, he certainly heard Draco confess to Snape. Draco Malfoy really did love him then. But why? Harry never gave Malfoy a reason to love him, whenever the Slytherin was cruel to him Harry was cruel right back, he never showed him kindness since the day he awkwardly chatted with him in Madam Malkin's Robes. What had Harry ever done to deserve the affections of a boy who stood on the other side of the war Potter was the focus of? Malfoy was putting himself at risk with these feelings, and with what, reward? Shame? Ridicule? Disownment? Death even?

Harry mulled over the painful memories of Snape in his younger years, tormented for so much as getting a love letter from a boy he didn't even have feelings for… it was no wonder now why Snape had been so cruel with Harry, he didn't want to see Draco fall under the same horrid fate. Deep in thought, Harry ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up messier than before.

'Snape thinks i would do to Draco what Sirius did to him?' He thought, feelings mixed between insulted and terrified, 'I would never do that… but why did Sirius?'

Letting out a guttural roar of frustration, Harry threw a iron torch holder that had been burning in a sconce above him. It clattered across the hall nosily, flame flickering out instantly.

"Potter!"

Harry whirled around at the familiar voice, unable to believe that in a school full of people, the one person to happen by would be the very one he wasn't sure he was ready to see. He stood above the rejected iron torch, posed as if ready to pounce with his shoulders back and feet staggered to brace himself. As a tendril of white blonde hair fell in front of his slit eyes, Draco whipped his head back and looked down at Harry, past his upturned nose.

"What do you think you are doing, throwing school property at a member of the Inquisitorial Squad? I'll dock you house points for that! I'm thinking.. 50?"

Harry's mouth fell. Could the day get any worse? Harry had already put himself on Snape's kill list and had Malfoy discover he was in 'Remedial Potions', now he was losing substantial house points? He was on a losing streak, and he figured why not call the whole day a scratch, see what else he could fuck up. Old rivalries sparked up in Harry, urging him to put Malfoy back in his place. Snape always said Harry was as arogant as his father, why not just give in to his heritage and bully his own enemy for no particular reason.

Standing up tall at his resolution, Harry shoved his hands in his pockets cockily and strutted up to Malfoy, eyeing him with no attempt to hide it. Draco was taken aback, and stared at him wide as Harry got a little close for comfort.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" Harry drawled, circling the Slytherin.

"W-what am i-? What do you mean, i patrol the halls, Potter, you're the one that shouldn't be here! What happened to your Remedial Potions, eh?" Draco smirked, he knew he had found the perfect time to exercise his new favorite piece of information.

Harry just chuckled, and reached out for Draco's Inquisitorial Squad badge to inspect it, the blonde jumped back as soon as he felt Harry's hand brush his chest, swatting him away quizzically.

"W-what don't touch that!" He yelled, blushing a little as he clutched his prided emblem.

The red across Draco's pale cheeks fired Harry up, making him want to fluster the Slytherin as much as he could.

"So tell me Malfoy, now that you're in the Inquisitorial Squad, are you still a Head Boy?"

"Well of course, i mean, its sort of the same thing, but now i get more rights than just Head Boy and… and Umbridge didn't say there are no more Head Boys and Girls so…" Draco's rational was dissolving quickly and it became obvious he didn't know the answer, but it didn't matter, all Harry needed was the set up.

"Do you get a lot of head, Head Boy? Or do you just give it?"

This seemed to break Malfoy, behind those wide stunned grey eyes Harry could see Draco shatter, his mouth gaped in a loss for words and Harry grinned in satisfaction as the normally perfectly-posied Slytherin turned the deepest hue of red that burned across his entire face.

"Real original, Potter! Like i haven't heard that one before!" He spat.

"Sure you're not a Gryfindor Malfoy? You're wearing my color right now."

"Thirty points from Gryfindor, you insufferable TWAT!" Draco spat at Harry's feet, looking just as surprised at his own actions as Harry. Yet his opponent still advanced, so Draco swung out his arms in a pose as if threatening to box.

"Fuck off Malfoy, calm down will you?" Harry grabbed one of Draco's arms and drew him in close, attempting to hold him in a firm clutch, but Malfoy wriggled free, snapping back;

"You can't touch me, Decree Number Twenty-Six clearly states you have to stay eight inches away—!"

"The Decree," Harry hissed, walking up menacingly so Draco had no choice but to back up into the wall, "Will only ban me touching girls." Harry was now only inches from Malfoy, no pause in his advances as he trapped the Slytherin by placing each of his hands on the wall the boy's back was against. "The Decree," Harry glared deep into the uncertain grey eyes of his nemesis, suddenly hot from the proximity he put himself in, "Doesn't care how much i touch you."

Time seemed to crawl slowly like a slug in the grass, Harry gazed unblinking into Draco's eyes until his own began to itch, he was uncomfortably aware that he hadn't stood this close to anyone in a very long time, the heat seemed to roll off their bodies, Draco's heavy breath grazed Harry's collarbone, causing a deep ache to throb in the Gryfindor's groin… he was also painfully aware if he moved his thigh even an inch more it would slide up against Draco's…

"So tell me, " Harry leaned in close to Draco's ear to whisper, "What do i have to do to earn those house points back?"

Harry could hear Draco's breath catch in his chest, he could even hear his heart beating furiously, pumping hot blood through his veins to the flush in Draco's face that was now so temptingly close to his own. Suddenly, Harry was scared. Scared of how close he was to someone he was supposed to hate, so close to losing control, so close to becoming not just his father… but Sirius too. Without thinking, Harry blurted;

"Want my eight inches, Ferret?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> High Shipper Mschmnged revels in cliff hangers :) maaaaybe till just tomorrow i'll hang on to the next chapter for a little bit to tease a bit hehe ^_^  
> ***


	8. The Labels

For the hundredth time that day, Harry fell back into the flagstone floor with a loud smack. Draco had shoved him with all his strength and now stood shaking; knuckles white and looking ready to make contact with Harry's jaw if he dared advance. The Slytherin looked postivily furious, Harry had crossed the line and it was clear Draco thought he was only toying with him as Crookshanks would a half-dead mouse.

"Stop it!" He hissed, "Don't fuck with me, Potter!"

Harry couldn't help but stare at Malfoy; in the last few days Harry had seen many facets of his nemesis's emotions but never any directed right at him with such intensity. His grey eyes bore into him with contempt, white-blonde hair a strewn, once blushing face gone ashen with disgust. Yet he was still very handsome; his jawline cut so severely it was striking, a fine blonde stubble crept across it, his school uniform was tailored so clean and slim Harry would have guessed it was sewn right on. Harry got so caught up in Draco's appearance, he forgot to respond, only enraging Malfoy further.

"You're such an ass."

Draco started to take off, then turned as if wanting to wanting to tell Harry off more, but became flustered with a loss for words and tore down the hallways until Harry could no longer see him. Harry sat there, rigid with shock, left with nothing other than his own thoughts… reminding him he was exactly as horrible as his godfather. He had toyed with Draco for his own amusement, not accounting for the turmoil of emotions he had only just witnessed himself no more than an hour ago. Harry dug his nails into his forehead and let the pain rip into his brain, furious at himself for such unforgivable acts.

'Gods he drives me crazy!' Harry thought, 'I don't know what the fuck to do around him anymore! Other than make an ass of myself… more like an ass of him.' Harry hung his head, wrought with thoughts of how close he was to reliving his dream, imagining he still felt remnants of Draco's warm thighs only inches away from his own… and knowing what was between them…

'So am i really… gay?' Harry tried to imagine himself with others, Dean, Seamus, Fred… or George for that matter, but it only made his stomach flip sickly. He had actually seen the last two in the quidditch showers, evenly endowed like exact the copies of each other they were. He also had seen Oliver fully nude, baring his whole self to Harry… soft and oddly hanging, Harry had never thought about it as anymore than the organ Oliver used to piss with. Yet when he thought on the dream, where who Harry had thought was Cedric turned out to be Malfoy… drenched in hot scented waters, slim chest sliding across Harry's, those same warm thighs now actually intertwined with his… the erect flesh that pressed eagerly against his own… Harry gasped.

"Are you ok, Harry?"

"AH!" Harry screamed a little louder than he would have liked, practically snapping his neck as he turned to see Luna Lovegood. She stood above him curiously, turnip earrings swinging about. Her arms were full of red meat, she had clearly been to the school's kitchens for rations.

"S-sorry Luna, you scared me, i'm fine." Harry stood up quickly, getting a bit of a head rush, "I just have been… uh, tripping a lot lately."

"Oh," she chipped, "Suppose it could be Nargles."

"I suppose."

"Would you like to hold my things?" Luna asked.

"What?" Harry looked incredulously at the meat that was dripping in her arms, staining her robes.

"Well, i just figured you'd want to hide," she looked down at his trousers, "Your Snorkack Horn."

Harry looked down to see he was at half-mast, bulging a bit in his tight pants. He had gotten too wrapped up in his memories of the dream and his latest encounter, forgetting to keep himself under control. Turning a rich shade of red, he held out his arms to accept the stack of raw meats to hide his own. Luna handed them over, smiling sweetly, unpurbed by Harry's problem, and began to walk down the hall, sleeves dripping a little with blood, so Harry followed.

"Where are you going with all this?" He asked, trying to not drop the slippery slabs.

"The Thestrals of course," she sang, "I like to get out of the castle as much as possible, really."

"Well… aren't you lonely?"

"Not really, i like being alone, not many others get me how i do."

Harry chuckled a little, He usually never knew what to think of Luna's brutal honestly, but it was the breath of fresh air he needed just then. As she walked in front of him, Harry found himself watching her long wavy blonde hair bounce about… He really was beginning to like blonde hair a lot. Then he wondered, 'If I'm gay… then i wouldn't find her attractive…' He couldn't help himself from investigating this thought now, letting his eyes wander over her petite curvy form… she had the cutest calves, Harry never noticed calves on a person before or ever thought they could be attractive but they were… and her butt was a perfect shape, not too big not too small, filled out her school slacks just right…

"You're going to need more things to hide behind…"

Harry looked up surprised, Luna had caught him staring at her ass as she walked, and was now falling back to be in step next to him. Turning as red as Malfoy had been earlier with him, Harry apologized profusely.

"I'm so sorry, i didn't' mean to! I just- oh gods… i just wanted to see if i felt anything… i mean, not that i was going to feel THAT anything, but… ugh, ok let me explain…"

"It's ok, calm down, you're fine Harry, i'm not mad."

"I know, but it's not that i like you like that! I mean, not that i couldn't, you're very pretty, i just… fuck um, i've been really confused and i just wanted to make sure that i'm… um…"

"Here," Luna stopped outside the school's doors going out to the grounds, closing them behind her. She grabbed the stacks of meat, setting them aside on a stone gargoyle's lap, and indicated a stone stair for them both to sit on. Harry sat defeated, looking out wearily at the vast grounds and skies before them. taking a deep breath, he looked over to see Luna looking at him patiently, letting him find his own pace.

"OK, so… yesterday i overheard… a guy likes me. And now i'm all confused because i had this dream about… another guy, and then that guy… and i keep thinking about that guy and i think i might… like that guy."

Luna cocked her eyebrow, obvious she was doing her best to keep up without names.

"But does that mean i'm gay? I liked Cho, i didn't hate kissing her… i didn't hate it a lot anyway. But i just feel like i would know if i was gay-gay, shouldn't i know that? Why am i only feeling that now?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Luna quipped, "It's because he likes you. You're feeling that emotion from him and its awakening something in you. Cho didn't like you for you, not how this… guy probably does."

"So… i'm gay?"

Luna sighed, and stared out into the distance, a small smile on her lips. Harry felt very comfortable talking to her, he knew somehow she would keep this in confidence and not judge him how Hermione and Ron might on instinct.

"Harry, it's ok not to have a label for it."

"A label?"

"Some things don't have a name. And thats ok. It doesn't make it any less real. It just makes it your own. You shouldn't be scared of it just because no one else feels it, you should explore it, it's your next adventure, Harry Potter." Luna smiled at him in her hazy way.

Harry stared at her, unsure how to process what she was saying. Not gay? Not straight? So what then?

"Maybe I'm bi then?"

"No no, Harry, you're not getting it, you are what you are, not what other people are going to call you. When you say you're Bi, thats limiting who you can be and giving people a box to put you in. Just love and be loved, the rest isn't important."

Harry tried to soak in the indirect deepness of Luna's statement. Then something hit him. He turned at looked at Luna, deep into her saucer-like eyes.

"Who do you like Luna?"

"I like…" she hummed a little, seemingly happy with getting to mull over his question, "I like Hogwarts. I like Quidditch matches. I like the Quibbler. I like Thestrals.…" she looked back at Harry, seemingly knowing this wasn't the answer he was expecting. "I like adventures, i like my friends. And that's ok. That's all i need."

Luna bounded up from her step and twirled in the grassy courtyard in some funny dance, perfectly blissful. Harry watched, perplexed, wishing he could feel the same thoughtless happiness Luna stayed induced by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> High Shipper Mschmnged must say Luna is an amazing girl. Harry needs her friendship so much to realize what actually important in life. Most of the time Harry doesn't go into things alone but lately in this story he's been braving it all with no help and he needed to be reminded he will always have friends in Hogwarts. Luna is the perfect candidate because she believes in just being herself and nothing else, and i love how she is often portrayed/interpreted as asexual. i feel like that is sometimes harder for people to understand than homosexuality and Luna is an amazing poster child for it. i still don't like labeling her as exactly that but it suits her pretty closely :) i myself firmly believe in no labels, i will love who i love, for who they are and not their body/gender. I am NOT saying physical attractiveness doesn't play into relationships, that is the tinder to a flame that is already there, obviously Harry wouldn't be able to stomach getting kinky with Flitch in his S&M dungeons! He wants the fire of Draco's personality AND the heat of Draco's supa hot seeker bod ;P  
> ***


	9. The Room

After the Thestrals were happily fat with the fresh beef cuts, Harry and Luna meandered back up to the castle, chatting peacefully about their favorite passages from 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them'. After Luna finished going through all the name ideas she had for the Fwooper she would eventually want to own (Siren being Harry's favorite due to the nature of the bird's song slowly turning the owner insane), they parted ways; Luna trotted off to the Ravenclaw dorms for bed and Harry took to whatever hall looked most familiar.

Soon the halls would be off limits since the night had settled in, but Harry was restless and was not in the mood for any more interactions with others. He was sure Hermione and Ron would be distraught about his absence and would be expecting a long-winded explanation. Harry wanted to give one of those about as much as he wanted to write a essay for Snape on the importance of cleaning your cauldron after every potion concocted.

Harry needed sleep though, it was weighing on his eyes heavily, but there was no way he could avoid an entire common room of Gryfindors and and a small dorm room where Ron's bed sat beside his own… then again, he didn't want to sleep on a stone floor under his invisibility cloak, he had enough bruises from being thrown about all day.

Gazing at the tapestries on the walls, Harry remembered an important tapestry, one where a wizard thickly tried to teach trolls a particular dance, important simply because it was adjacent to a room undetectable even by the Marauder's Map. The Room of Requirement never seemed to care about the hours of the day and it's only limits pertained to food; surely it could become a temporary place for Harry to sleep and avoid others. The weary Gryfindor took off down the corridors to the seventh floor as fast as his feet would take him. For a moment Harry feared he had seen the ragged tuft that was Mrs. Norris's tail, yet upon reaching the desired hall, he was still undisturbed. He paced three times and thought as clear and distinctly as possible;

'I need a bedroom, i need a place to sleep alone, i need a room for myself.'

Relief washed over him as the wall began to etch an ornate doorway into itself, swinging it open invitingly. Harry smiled, The Room had always been lovely but that was a nice new touch. 

Stepping inside, Harry took in what The Room had put together just for him; it was small, but the celling arched up tall and dramatically, lined with thick plain tapestry. Giving a tented arabian vibe, the cream fabric draped down to the floors, parting way for one slim window that revealed the Quidditch pitch blue with night. The walnut-stained wood floors were cut in a striking herringbone pattern, and a plush fur rug sat in front of a large pit that was the bed. The Room must have figured out that Harry hadn't been sleeping still lately, prone to rolling out of his four poster, and decided to sink the bed into the floor and overflowed it with mismatched pillows.

"YESSSS, Room, you're the best!" Harry felt compelled to hug one of the lined walls, despite not being sure if The Room was sentient enough to feel his gratitude.

Quickly, Harry stripped himself down to nothing but his faded boxers and stretched, popping bones that had ached the whole day. Yet as he twisted his torso back, he saw a lone hook on the door that had closed behind him, a fresh pair of blue briefs in just his size dangling from it innocently.

"Holy Helga, can i stay here every night?" Harry asked, baring down to the buff and shimmying into the most comfortable pair of skivvies he had ever worn. These certainly weren't the cheap eight-pack undies from the dollar store like Aunt Petunia bought him, these felt as if they had been woven with the soft fur of a Puffskein.

Stepping up to the pit of pillows, Harry curled his toes around the edge and posed to dive like a child at the public pool. Doing a twist in the air so he landed on his back, Harry rebounded back up unnaturally high for a mattress, laughing as he bounced a few more times. He was reminded of a trampoline belonging to one of the neighbors on Privet Drive he wasn't allowed on, smirking as he recalled Dudley's fat rippled and flapped when he attempted to bounce; it was honestly shocking that he didn't rip the surface and fall through.

Settling into the bed and rearranging the pillows that had gone flying about with him, Harry found himself pleased that the afternoon managed to be quite a pleasant one after what a disaster the first half of it had been. He was finally at peace… in a bedroom that was his own, something he had never had before. Gazing out of the window at the empty Quidditch pitch, Harry resolved to fly sometime the next day.

It was always the perfect therapy; the weightlessness was uplifting, the wind crisp and refreshing, the view unfathomably beautiful… Hogwarts always looked so serene from above; bathed in the warm glaze of the sun, foliage rippling about in the breeze. Harry took a deep breath, filling his nostrils with the smell of a seasoned fall; it seemed to renew his body, as if all the organs were replaced anew and the blood pumped cleaner. Harry soared a little higher, lifted by an oncoming gust; nothing mattered up here… his hair could be ruffled because of wind, he could be blushing and anyone would think it was just windburn, he could even say any thought come to mind and have it carried away into the abyss. Lost in his thoughts, Harry almost didn't see the glint of gold fluttering in his peripherals.

'The Snitch!' Harry thought excitedly, not realizing he had been in the middle of a Quidditch game.

Pressing close to his broom, Harry took off at lightening quick speeds, now seeing the pitch was indeed filled to capacity and the air was filled with red and green streaks. Harry nearly fell off his broom.

'Green?' He thought, 'Shit, i'm playing against Malfoy!'

Deciding winning the house cup was more important than his… well, whatever it was that was going on between him and Malfoy, Harry marked the blonde as his nemesis once more. He was nearing the teasing snitch when he suddenly felt the presence of another, turning to see Malfoy's trajectory was closing in on him. Keeping his eyes on the prize, Harry paid no mind as the Slytherin matched his speed side by side, bracing for contact. Sure enough, the opponent played dirty and slammed into the side of him, so Harry ribbed back with his own shoulder, pressing them tight against each other.

"It's mine, Potter!"

Competitive side flaring up inside of him, Harry turned to glare at his enemy, ready to throw some insults, whatever it would take to unseat him, but gaped in shock as he saw Draco was shirtless. Were they playing shirts and skins? Harry could have sworn he had seen the Green of their uniforms streaking across the skies… Malfoy didn't look back at him though, muscling his way ahead of Harry, torso taut with rippling muscles fit for a predator.

Harry let out a roar of frustration, not understanding how Draco managed to outstrip his Firebolt, now stuck with a view of Draco's arched back as he blocked any chance of Harry getting past him. All Slytherin Quidditch uniforms consisted of spandex-like pants with knee pads, much like the Gryfindors, but these looked different on Draco somehow. The cream color almost melted seamlessly with the boy's milky complexion, clinging like a second skin over the rounded flesh which jutted out nicely that was Malfoy's… Harry realized he had stopped playing attention to if they were still following the snitch and was instead staring at Malfoy's ass.

Mentally slapping himself, Harry concentrated as he devised a plan. Loosening his grip, Harry heard the crowd gasp as he slipped sideways on his broom. Now upside down, Harry pressed forward, flying directly under Malfoy; undetected. The blonde did not notice his opponent right away, giving Harry the perfect moment to reach out and grab the Nimbus Two Thousand and One, pulling the broomstick up against his own so he could hold them both in his grasp.

"Potter?! What are you doing?"

The broomsticks sang a little as they rubbed against one another, pushing and pulling, but Harry kept a firm grasp to Draco's dismay. It was the perfect plan; Harry was going to toss the other boy's broom off course, giving him the head start and possibly inevitable win, but then something Harry didn't count on happened… his thigh brushed against Malfoy's. Finally, the thigh that had been so tauntingly close hours before now touched his own, pressing hotly through the thin fabric. Harry's stomach boiled, the simple contact sent electric shocks straight to his groin; desire now overrode his competitiveness. Then it wasn't just one thigh touching, both pressed against his and their legs tangled as Harry enterlocked his own around Draco's broomstick in attempt to stay straddled in the air.

"Ha-Potter, what are you—?"

Harry reached up, locking eyes with his surprised opponent, and grasped the back of his neck, pulling the other boy down into a greedy kiss. Lips, chapped from the unforgiving air, wet as they pressed and pushed each other. A strand of stray blonde hair fell into the fray, so Harry brushed a hand through Malfoy's soft hair, pulling the boy's head back as he overpowered him with his lust. As they tried to adjust more comfortably, Harry groaned involuntarily into the other boy's mouth as his spandex-clad groin slid against his enemies', both as stiff as their brooms. How they had managed this whole time without cups on their parts for protection, Harry didn't know, but Harry didn't care.

"Oh gods, m-more… get up here, Potter."

The Gryfindor abandoned his broom and successfully hijacked the Slytherin's, breaking their kiss to sit upright as he straddled the smoothed mahogany backwards. Yet he was knocked back, spine slamming into the broom, as Draco climbed on top of him, the heated thighs Harry loved so much wrapping around his torso and locking them both onto the speeding broom. Draco's cock pressed against Harry's stomach as he put his weight into Potter's lap, grinding rhythmically, sending Harry into a frenzy.

"Aah! Draco, don't stop, thats—"

The Gryfindor's brain became overpowered with fireworks as he felt himself riding the edge, feeling almost blinded as little sparks fizzled in his vision. He wasn't sure how much he could take, Harry was sure he would pop if Draco kept rubbing against his cock like that. Harry felt his Quidditch shirt being ripped from his body, warm strong hands contrasted the wind's sharp bite as they slid across his chest. The blonde's mouth ravaged his neck, nibbling on a tendon that reverberated down his whole body. Harry bucked, eyes flying open wide as he began to peek, when he saw something he didn't expect.

Flying right above them was the snitch. The winged orb was inches from his nose, it almost felt as if it were watching them… Curiously, Harry let go of Draco's thigh and captured the snitch with ease.

"And Potter's got the snitch! What a catch! Great distraction play from the Gryfindor seeker, Malfoy didn't see it coming, though he might be cuming himself..."

Lee Jordan's commentating echoed loud across the crowded pitch Harry had forgotten all about; his stomach flipped sickly as the many faces of his school peers came into focus. How had he forgotten they were in the middle of a game? Harry gasped as one of Draco's hands grasped the bulging outline of his cock and squeezed- making it very obvious how it was so easy to forget the crowd.

Then it dawned on Harry… if he and Draco were busy doing… well, what they were doing… who was steering the broom?

Panicked, Harry looked down and only saw a black abyss, no grass of the pitch floor, just nothingness. Terrified, he lost his balance, slipped, and almost fell off the broom, now dangling from one hand. Having sent Draco toppling off, he watched, absolutely guilt-ridden, as the handsome boy fell screaming into the nothingness until it swallowed him whole. Harry's hand was slick with sweat from their heated affair, and soon slipped from the broom handle, condemning Harry to fall to the same demise.

Then Harry woke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***  
> High Shipper Mschmnged decrees; "SPLOOSH" finally some more action! dream action, but actions none the less! and this is the hyper-realistic dreams harry is supposed to be fighting with occlumency so you know its going to suck waking up to find out it didn't happen! i always thought mid-air quid ditch sex would be so hot, but it only really makes sense in dreams, it would be too hard to do in real life with steering, splinters and broomstick wedgies.
> 
> Ship on Garth!
> 
> [UPDATE] so someone reminded me of an important detail! i do not portray Draco as a super effeminate lady-boy. i try to stick to the character development JKR made me fall in love with and i try to stay true to the characters as i came to know them; Draco might be into the finer things and appearances but he is no lady. i don't do mpreg stuff either, i leave that hardship to the women, besides these guys are still too young, i don't want to encourage teen pregnancy, these guys are too clueless to raise a SlythenDor _ I'm NOT bashing fics who do either of these, I'm just saying i don't do it myself so you all know what you're getting into. don't be mad at me, i think I'm funny for some reason :(


	10. The Gossiper

Harry stared at the soft tapestry draping from ceiling, struck immobile from the aftershock of falling to his false death. He tried to absorb in the reality of the moment to calm himself; Harry listened carefully to his breathing, slowing from panicked to deep, he blinked the sleep from his eyes, he ran his hands across the soft sheets of the pit-bed with a sense of acuteness he normally never had with threat counts. 

The morning sun glazed him in it’s warmth, highlighting particles in the air that were lazily drifting about in the directions of Harry’s slowing breaths. He watched them for a while with an empty mind, Harry wasn’t ready to come to terms with the turbulent dream he had woken from, but soon he let his eyes wander across the small space given to him by The Room, one he was happy to see didn’t disappear just because he fell asleep. He had been terrified that maybe the second he’d stop paying attention, he would wake on the hall floors like a homeless man on the streets of London. 

The Room was lovely in the gold glow of morning, the curtained walls looked softer than ever, the herringbone floor was swirled with caramel colors he had never seen a tree produce before. The slim window still showed the quidditch pitch, active with the Hufflepuff team going about it’s morning practice. The door exiting The Room now had a plush morning robe hanging from its hook, and… now The Room had a poster that hadn't been there the night before, an odd portrait of a young man Harry didn’t recognize. Harry stared, puzzled; why had The Room added a overtly sexual picture of a man reaching up his own white shirt? Had it added anything else? He looked around wildly, and beside the pit-bed… a box? Harry propped himself up a bit and reached out; it was bronze, emblazoned with patterns of Snitches in flight, and a slit on the top reveled it contents… it was a tissue box. 

“Why tissues? I’m not sick, i’m just…” Then Harry felt it. The cold slide of his own seed dripping down his skin. Panicking, he laid flat and moved his hips to keep it from rolling off onto the bedsheets. He stared down at his soiled naked abdomen, seeing that at some point in the night he had stripped himself of his breifs. He swabbed up the goo before it could dry on him, burning red with embarrassment; it had been a long time since he had experienced a wet dream, and to have it happen after a dream about Draco… 

A familiar hot pang ran electric down to his groin as he remembered the snogging they did, balanced expertly on the speeding broom. Harry closed his eyes and exhaled deep as he could almost feel those thin cruel lips sliding against his own again… but then again how would he know how it feel to kiss Malfoy? He had never done it before, who’s to say it would feel the same as kissing the lips of Cho? 

Remembering her splotchy red face with angry beady eyes brought him back to earth; Harry had to be back to the Gryfindor hall soon, as to not raise suspicions… and he was still undressed, halfway across the castle from his dorm rooms. Not sure of the time, Harry figured the sooner he’d get around the better, and stood, stretched out the morning aches, and dressed in his robes from the day before. They were not freshly cleaned as they normally would be in his dorms, he supposed since The Room was open to only him at the time, even house elves weren’t welcome to do come in and tidy. He also supposed it would be silly to expect The Room to do everything for him, it had already done so much, and though he appreciated the robe it provided, he didn't want to wander the halls looking like a mental patient. Ready to go, Harry turned and took in his surroundings one last time. Unsure if The Room would look the same if he needed it again, he figured it best to savor it and all of it’s personal details. 

As Harry sauntered through the halls, still somewhat groggy with sleep, he found them surprisingly empty and took this as a good sign that he was not late for anything important. Then again, it could also mean the worst; that everyone was already in class. 

‘Oh!,’ He thought, ‘It’s Easter holiday! How could i have forgotten…’ 

Harry was surprised then that Hufflepuff had been amidst quidditch drills that morning, maybe they had to delay and push it into the time off classes. His mind drifted to the dream; cold air whipping across his exposed chest, warms hands touching, sliding, grabbing… it had all felt more real and intense, perhaps even more than the one of Diggory. His skin prickled where the phantom feeling of Draco's hand’s lingered, sending a shiver throughout his body. Those grey eyes had been staring deep into his own, wanting… Harry was done fighting it, he wanted Draco. 

As the acceptance washed through him, Harry couldn’t believe how easy it was to be ok with his desire for the Slytherin, why had he allowed himself to wallow in his whirlwind of denial and worry? 

‘I mean, who cares who i like?’ He thought to himself, ‘Just because i’m Harry Potter, just because everyone has known my name since i was a baby, why does that mean i have to worry about what people think about who i’m with?” Harry walked a little taller, becoming confident in his growing credence. 

‘And i don’t even have to get all worried about if he likes me or not because i already know he does! I could tell him how i feel today and we could just be together already! I could know what it’s like to kiss him for real, i could…’ his paced slowed. 

‘Kiss him…’ He tasted the words, sourness gone, replaced by a sweet tang. ‘Him. I like a him. This is crazy, It doesn't even bother me anymore. Him. Kiss him. Be with him…’ he could have Draco today. He could tell him today. But it was all too soon, he had only just accepted his feelings and he was already going to just act on them? 

Doubts became to swarm, maybe Draco had changed his mind? maybe once Harry kissed Draco he wouldn’t like him anymore? Maybe Draco would say something shitty about mudbloods and Harry would realize its a mistake?? Maybe Draco would be a terrible kisser, maybe Harry himself would be a terrible kisser! Maybe the reason his kiss with Cho was so bad was because of him all along… maybe Harry would throw up. Maybe he’d throw up right now. 

As his stomach churned with stress, Harry looked around for a bathroom, yet realized he had already arrived in the same corridor as the Gryfindor tower. Harry seemed to be having a lot of time lapse problems lately due to overthinking, but as troubling as it was to him, he was grateful his feet still always found the places he needed to be.

“And where have you been?” The Fat Lady asked teasingly, likely knowing full well wherever Harry had been, and that it wasn’t somewhere he was supposed to be. She peered down at him appraisingly, a painted brow cocked at the sight of his tossed hair and clothes from the day before. She was a goose that lived for gossip, a trait Harry did not hold in high esteem, and she was known for perpetuating tall tales about who had been sneaking about with who. Harry did not feel ready for the pudgy prodder to know about his tryst with The Room of Requirement, but just trying to shut her up with rudeness would not cease her persistence. 

“Oh, i really can’t say, Lady.” Harry baited playfully. The Fat Lady’s piggy eyes twinkled with intrigue.

“Oh?! Come now Harry, no need to keep secrets from me, i’m your friend! Remember when i saved your dorm from Sirius Black? You can trust me!” 

The Lady had been milking her attack story for juicy tidbits ever since her canvas got a carving, it had worked on a more malleable few but Harry was getting tired of it.

“Oh Lady, how am i to say no to you? Ok, if i tell you just a piece, will you let me in and not tell anyone i was gone?”  
He almost bat his eyes but deemed it too cheesy, Harry was no first year anymore, cute tricks like that now look borderline creepy. 

“You tease, alright, i accept!” 

“Alright so… i’ve met someone, Lady.” Harry pretended to be bashful as The Fat Lady let out a dramatic gasp. “Oh, and she’s special! She’s a bit older than me…”

“Oh my, how cute!”

“Yes, so i can’t say who, she’ll get upset, it could cost her if anyone found out.”

“Ooh scandalous, why would it be so costly, you’re the great Harry Potter, any girl would be lucky to have you!” 

“I can’t say, i cant, Lady you’re trying to trick me into saying too much!” Harry cheeked. 

“No no, come on love, tell me more! Where were you tonight? Her dorms?”

“No, actually we were in the teacher’s lounge”

“…How did you manage? The lounge is unlocked only by a teacher by showing their face and wand to the portrait of Witch Gilda; creator of the anti-cheating quill…”

Pretending to not hear her anymore, Harry ‘dreamily’ drolled on; “Oh it’s thrilling with her, it feels so forbidden! She’s a great kisser, and graded me a B+ kisser myself!” 

“Graded? Wait, Harry who is this…”

“And speaking of grades, mine have been much higher since we started dating! I’m in all kinds of a good mood, she’s makes me feel amazing, helps that she's so, so, sooo experienced.”

The Fat Lady looked ghostly, Harry could see she was catching on to his hints, and was ready to leave her with all the rumors she could conjure.

“Anyway! That’s all i can say, don’t want to be late or i’ll have to speak with the head of my house! Then again maybe i want to be late,” Harry winked deeply at The Fat Lady, mouth dropped across her many chins. “Password is ‘Lacewing Flies’, right? Bye Lady!” 

Harry whistled a nondescript tune as he strode into the dorm room, he was sure he heard The Fat Lady scramble out of her portrait as soon as she had swung out of view, likely gone to gossip to her other painted friends. 

***

“But why haven’t you got Occlumency lessons anymore?” Hermione probed, slitting her eyes suspiciously at Harry through her mane of bushy hair. 

Harry had been successful in sneaking into his bed undetected that morning, dispite Neville’s fearful light sleeping, but now evading questions was proving difficult. Hermione insisted on meticulously writing out study schedules for all three of them, which Harry and Ron were in no mood to fight, but it did not distract her from noticing Harry didn’t need Snape’s special classes penciled in anymore. 

“I’ve told you, Snape figures i can go about it myself from now on, i only needed the basics.” Harry cringed as he remembered the look of pure unadulterated hate on Snape’s face as he hurled him out of his classroom. He wished not having Occlumency meant he couldn't never see Snape ever again but Harry knew that was simply impossible, with his luck he would run into the shadowed man around every corner of the school’s halls. 

“So you’ve stopped having those queer dreams?” Hermione asked curiously. Ron spat fizzy drink clear across the table with dramatic shock, soaking the color coded study schedules. This was in good luck because it distracted everyone from Harry’s now flushed cheeks.

“Having WHAT dreams?!” Ron laughed, dripping purple fizz from his lip and nose.

“Queer dreams, Ron, queer, you know, as in odd.” Hermione rolled her eyes, “you’re such a neanderthal.” 

“Well i don't know what that means but i know queer does not mean ‘odd’, ‘Mionie, i think you know what i mean.”

“Noooo Ron, i don’t think i dooo.” She said, every word dripping with sarcasm. 

They stayed eyes locked on each other in a death glare; Ron smirking childishly and Hermione clutching a quill so tightly it was as if she was threatening to stab him with the pointy end if he dared press on. 

“Buttstuff, ‘Mionie. With wieners.” 

“UGH! RON I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS!” Hermione shoved the giggling redhead off his chair with disgust, leaving Ron in a heaping fit of snickers. Yet unexpectedly the disheveled girl rounded on Harry, shouting; “ARE YOU HAVING THE DRATTED DREAMS STILL OR NOT?!” 

“No! Yezus, drop it already please! calm down!” Harry almost regretted those last antagonizing words, but Hermione seemed to take them seriously rather than provokingly, and consciously made herself settle. Dipping her quill in ink with a shaky hand, she spoke as softly as she could manage.

“I’m sorry. I will trust that Snape knows what he’s doing by allowing you to practice Occlumency alone. That is, i trust you are still going to practice…” Harry shot her a look. “Of course you are Harry, i believe in you. Just tell me if you have any more dreams that are…”

“Weinery!” Ron quipped from under the table, where he knew he was safe from Hermione’s quill. “OW!” Yet not her foot. 

“Get up here and start studying! Only six more weeks till exams!” 

Herminone countuined to chide Ron on his free time best spent, but Harry’s mind already began to wander. Even if he did pursue Draco, how would he keep it from his two best friends? It was already difficult just hiding his own musings the last few days, but if anything did manage to happen between him and the Slytherin… not just a guy but a Slytherin, a Slytherin Ron loathed and a Slytherin that Hermione suffered unforgivable names from… now the idea of pursuing Draco seemed insane again. Thoughts of his hands tracing the sinew of his chest, the heat Harry had dreamed exchanged between their members sliding against each other… it was all so enticing now that Harry accepted that it was something he wanted… but the guy he wanted that with… even though he had spent that meal the other day piecing together the fact that Draco wasn’t the villain Harry had painted him to be… maybe thats all those thoughts were; hopeful musings that helped him excuse away all the things he didn’t like about Draco so he would feel better kissing him. 

“What’s wrong Harry?”

“What?”

Hermione was staring at him quizzically, Ron must had sulked off about something and left her there with Harry looking absent. Straightening himself in the chair and pushing his still-uncombed hair back, Harry waved her off, muttering; “Oh, nothing.” 

“I saw Cho recently, “ she pressed on, “she looked really distraught, did you two fight again?” 

Harry sighed deeply, collecting his words carefully, “Yea… we have.” Harry wouldn’t deny it. He was often a man of few, very few, good words. 

“What did you row about this time?” 

Harry teeth clenched, he was so tried of talking about Cho, thinking about Cho, just acknolwlage Cho exists… He was done with her and wanted to tell Hermione so. But for now, simplicity would have to do. 

“Her nark friend that sold us out to the High Bitch Toad.” 

Hermione crinkled her nose but fell finally into silence, though now Ron had come back and was ready to rally at such a statement.

“YEA! She needs to know her ‘friend’ is a-“ and Ron proceeded to list a series of extremely offensive names that Hermione had to shush, being that he grew louder with very obscenity. Harry was grateful for Ron’s showmanship, once again taking attentions off of himself and allowing him to sink into his own mind, still wrought with doubts for his budding desire to tame the Snake he had recently offended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High Shipper Mschmnged loves all the love :) thanks for reading, the kudos and the comments, i appreciate the encouragement, keeps me going, you know?! Harry is still fighting with reason but also finally accepting how he feels, that means we are so much closer to him acting out!


	11. The Godfather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! breaking my usual layout to make a quick disclaimer! i've never known how needed these are, it seems pretty obvious I'm NOT J.K.R and no one else on fan fiction is but better safe than sorry and this chapter more than any other needs it. I do not own Harry Potter or its characters, i just love giving the stories JKR a new perspective. this chapter closely follows existing events in the OOTP book, i want to stay as true to the series as possible because that is the world i imagined Drarry good times in, their relationship seemed possible in that world if they could only see the potential the way we all do. Anyway, enjoy, i hope you like these events new twists!

The Easter holidays began to pass swiftly, warmer weather becoming imminent, but not all of Hogwart’s students were able to enjoy the budding season on the grounds. Fifth and seventh years were becoming more and more introverted as result of their stress with the oncoming exams. No one seemed to have time to talk; they were all too busy trying to reserve the best study table at the library, concocting potions to cure stress alopecia and attempting new ways to best the anti-cheating quills. Yet this all worked well for Harry; he was worried if given the chance he might spill his secrets like a first year with a sentient-responding diary. 

Despite his acceptance in desiring Draco, he was still unsure if the Slytherin was a decent person; he wanted to observe him, interact casually maybe. To his dismay (and strangely, also relief), Colin Creevy relayed that the mysterious blonde had been holing up in the Potions classroom to study; a place Harry dared venture no more. This now left him with too much time to think on the newest subject that was bothering him; how James Potter and Sirius Black were assholes. 

Since the day the wizarding world was revealed to him, Harry reveled in being told he was exactly like his father, but now he would prefer if he was told he inherited more than his mother’s eyes; she was the only one who stood up for the cowering young Snape. Everyone from Hagrid to Dumbledore to Sirius had told him how amazing his father had been… but now Sirius wasn't a very reliable source being that he had behaved on a whole other level of cruelty to the potions master. Harry’s stomach flipped as he remembered the face Snape made when Sirius revealed his true intentions, it was mirrored with the face Draco made when Harry behaved as carelessly as his godfather. 

So this is who he was. He was one of them, exactly like them, saying cruel things and making easy targets his scape goat. Harry wanted to know why Snape was their favored victim… what had he done? Was he like Draco, saying things he didn't fully understand about people with non-magical relations? James did say it was simply because he existed… at least Harry hated Draco for being evil to his friends. 

Then it dawned on Harry… maybe that was his fault too. Draco asked to be Harry’s friend, maybe not in the most eloquent way, but Harry wasn’t forgiving of that and insinuated Draco was a bad person compared to Ron and Hermione when he had barely known the boy a day. Draco was never the type to take things lightly, he held a grudge against Hannah Abbott for months when she told the school he tried auditioning for the school choir… and compared his voice to the croaking of Neville’s toad, Trevor. Her ponytail was ‘accidentally’ singed off after a class with the Slytherins, not long after Harry had heard Draco himself brag about mastering a fireball curse that week. 

Thinking about Draco’s brash reactions was not helping Harry calm down, if things didn't go well with him and… what ever they could be, Harry didn't want to know how much worse life could get at the hands of Draco’s wrath. Perhaps Harry really had been too forgiving of Draco, wanting his hands so terribly he allowed them to blind him… or maybe he was wrong about that too and he was as innocent as Snape… 

“UGH” Harry groaned, pressing his head against the cold stone of the wall nearest, his mind was realing and he could feel a migraine coming on. He needed to sort this out once and for all, he needed to talk to Sirius. 

“Wow, Harry if that’s how you really feel about it, i can find someone else to feel my boobs.”

“WHAT?” Harry whipped his head around to see Ginny Weasley staring at him disapprovingly, arms crossed in front of the breasts in question. But her stern look didn’t last long, frown cracking into a smirk, and she gave in to a laugh.

“Just kidding Harry, i could tell you stopped listening to me a while back, i’ve just been rambling about nonsense to see when you would come back to earth.”

“Oh,” he blinked groggily, “I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Besides your…um” he gestured awkwardly at her chest, trying not to look. 

“Riiiight, well just about how Quidditch practice is positively dismal,” Ginny tucked her long flaming hair behind a freckled ear, rolling her eyes dramatically, “that Jack Sloper is horrid, gave himself a nasty conk in the head today, so we have to postpone until he stops hallucinating about dancing skrewts.”

“Sounds like i’m missing so much” 

“So much Harry. Anyway, we got a package that passed Umbridge’s insane new screening process…”

Ginny pulled up her school bag onto the library table, and revealed a ravaged looking package, clearly not a virgin to curious hands, and marked as inspected in obscene red stampings. Inside were ornate chocolate eggs, each as tempting looking as the last. As he took a sizable bite out of the one etched with snitches, he did not feel the usual happiness spread throughout him. Lupin always swore by the cure-all of chocolate, but it only made him think of the pain Lupin caused Snape as he sat by and let his friends torture him. 

“Harry?” Ginny cocked her head like a curious owl, “Are you ok? You seem really sad lately… Is it because of Cho Chang? You really should just try to talk to her I'm sure-“

“It’s not Cho i want to talk to.” Harry cut her off a little to harshly, he was just so sick of that damned name, not everything was about Cho, was he really that obsessed with her that everyone thought she was his whole life?? He was also banned from Quidditch, being targeted by Umbridge, unable to carry on with the D.A. and fucking exams were coming up, there were plenty of other things Harry could be upset about. Why assume his entire happiness was controlled by some boring girl? Yet… then again Harry’s every thought had been really about some boy. So maybe he was that shallow. He swallowed his pride and apologized. 

“I’m sorry, she's… just not the one i need to talk to.”

“Then… who do you want to talk to Harry?”

“I…”

Harry winced as Draco’s face resurfaced in his mind; burning red under his tousled blond hair, grey eyes welling up, not understanding why…. 

“I want to talk to Sirius… but thats impossible with The High on Power bitch of Hogwarts.” He prodded the sad package she had wreaked havoc on. 

Ginny smiled in a mischievous way that made Harry a little worried. It was a familiar smile, one not unlike her twin brothers when they have just conjured up a devious plan that could get them all killed or at least severely burned. 

“Oh, i think we can find a way Harry.” 

***’

“Hallo Harry” Fred and George smirked as they sat, sandwiching Hermione uncomfortably. They always had perfect timing, and interrupting Hermione during her newest panic attack; the ‘Career Advice’ leaflets, was just what Harry needed. His mind had been recently mulling over all the times he’s ever interacted with Malfoy since the day they met and trying to find something redeemable in them, but the results were coming up depressing. Harry needed a new distraction, and thinking about his future career was not doing it whatsoever.

“Ginny came to us with somethin interesting,” George quipped, helping himself to whatever Hermione had been snacking on.

“Says you need a favor, boy wonder,” Fred picked up, “says you need a chat with Sirius?” 

Hermione, who had been preoccupied shooing away George from picking through her snacks and papers, looked up shocked with what Harry hoped would be a loss for words.

“What?? Harry no! Don’t be insane, its impossible, what with Umbridge everywhere like some Big Brother!”

“As a big brother i take offense!” Fred jokingly scoffed.

“The other Big Brother, who goes through all your things and watches!”

“What do you mean ‘other’, we do all that stuff too.” Fred smirked, loving the rise he was getting out of the frizzy girl. 

“You know, we are successful at that because of a little something called ‘diversions’, something we’ve gotten quite skilled at…” George leaned in, and began to eye a first year nearby he deemed suspicious. “Not sure if you noticed but we’ve been keeping the peace lately…” 

“No point in distrubing perfectly good naping hours! What else are holidays for but ZZZ’s and schemes?” Fred hugged Hermiones shoulders tightly, something she was not expecting. “But nap time is over, kiddos.” 

“Too right brother, holidays are done tomorrow, back to business. Why not benefit a friend and let our lovely commotion cover yours?” 

Harry grinned from ear to ear, he loved Weasleys, he loved that family so much. He was right in choosing Ron as his friend, by doing so he friended people who were powerful in their own way. He was only sad he would miss the show the mischievous brothers would have planned to cover for him. 

“How in the world would you even get a hold of Sirius??” Hermione leaned forward, in attempt to show gravity and escape the twin’s proximity.

“i’ve been thinking… you know how all the fireplaces are being watched?” Harry asked.

“Yesssss, exactly my point Harry, how-“ 

“Well there’s only one that isn’t being watched.”

“Harry surely you don’t mean!!”

“But if she’s distracted by them-“ Harry gestured to the smirking twins, clearly getting off at the scheming of misdoings, “and i use the lock pick Sirius gave me last holidays, that will get me past any spell on her door, i’ll have just enough time to…” Harry gulped, the only thing he hadn’t planned was how he was going to ask Sirius about why he did what he did. 

“Tomorrow then?” Fred asked, “Just after lessons? We’re thinking East wing, far from her office.”

“Sounds right to me Fred.” George high-fived his twin over Hermione’s cowering head. “Good luck Harry!” 

The two sauntered off, stopping only briefly at Angelina’s table to brag about their upcoming ‘event’. Harry beamed, pleased he was finally going to get some answers, and the bonus of Hermione not getting a chance to tear down the plan was fantastic. 

***

“Number twelve, Grimmauld Place!” Harry was ready for this, and spoke without falter. The day had been long, feeling like it had stretched on forever, but finally he was here, kneeled before Umbridge’s fireplace, floo powder dashed across the burning logs. The Twin’s distraction seemed to go off without a hitch, successfully pulling the High Bitch far from her haven and leaving it vaunerable to Harry’s devious intentions. He had left Hermione back in the halls, still opposed but unable to stop Harry once he was willful enough. Armed with nothing but his magic pocketknife and invisibility cloak, Harry thrust his head into the flames and let them swallow him up into a dizzying array of people’s fireplaces until it found the desired hearth. He blinked amongst the soot, finding himself looking out at the dismal kitchen of the Blacks, yet the man sitting at the table wasn't their descendent, it was Lupin. 

“Harry! Are you alright?? Why are you—“ 

“I’m fine!” Harry reassured, rushing a bit, “I just… wanted to talk to Sirius.” 

“Oh…” Lupin was surprised, maybe a little dejected, but rose from the table. “One moment.”

Harry knelt, in two places at once, as patiently as he could. His knees ached back in Umbridge’s office and his neck was sore keeping hovered in Sirius’s fireplace, but he kept reminding himself he had maybe twenty minutes to talk and that wasn't long at all. Sirius came rushing into the room, looking as haggard as ever, and threw himself in front of the fireplace. His enigmatic eyes were wide in shock, age carved around them in wrinkles that hadn't been present in Snape’s memory. 

“Whats wrong, Harry my boy?!” He almost yelled, “Are you in danger??”

“When am i not?” Harry joked, so happy to see his godfather he almost forgot he was sort of mad at him. 

“No time for lightness Harry,” Lupin scorned, kneeling beside Sirius, “Out with it, whats wrong?”   
“Nothings… wrong… per say.” He took a deep breath. “I wanted to talk about something i saw about when you guys… and my dad… were in school.” Harry told them, in a nutshell, about the first part of the memory where his father was the main tormentor. 

Both were silent for a while, brows furrowed with sympathy, but Lupin started slowly;

“Harry, that was just a moment in a sea of moments, your father was young…”

“As am i!”

“Yes, ok, but you see,” Sirius explained, “Your father and Snape never got along, not even the moment they met! I can tell you now i hated him the first day!”

Harry’s heart fell, thinking of Draco, the situation too similar for hope. “My father said it was because Snape ‘existed’…” 

“Yes, not well spoken on his part, but there were reasons, Snape was arrogant and spoke pompously like a true pureblood, not to mention a geek for anything Dark Arts…” Sirius drolled on about Snape’s misgivings, but it wasnt helping, it was still to reminiscent for Harry’s liking. He might be getting answers but they weren't helping like he had hoped. 

“Harry,” Lupin interjected, “James and Sirius were young and considered ‘cool’, it got to their heads and sometimes took things a little too far. We were all idiots, honestly.” 

“Considered?! I was cool Remus.” Sirius joked at his friend, shouldering him. “We were all idiots, but not this guy. Kept his head on straight.” 

Lupin did something Harry had never seen before; he blushed. The ex- dark arts teacher seemed to stiffen up a bit but couldn't help a small smirk. Harry turned his attentions to Sirius, who was watching his peer carefully out of the corner of his eye as he laughed carelessly. Something nagged at Harry, but he had to get answers about not just his father’s actions, but Sirius’s as well. 

“The memory kept going.” Harry said slowly, testing waters. “After you left…” he looked into Lupins curious but tired eyes. How had things been outside of Hogwarts, Harry wondered. What exhausting events had they faced? 

“Ah, Harry i don't… well…” Sirius stumbled, seeming to know full well where Harry was going. 

“What did you do Sirius?” Lupin looked appraisingly at the shabby yet somehow still dashing man beside him.

Sirius ignored him, breaking a sweat. “Harry i don’t expect you to think well of me after seeing that but i was a troubled boy, i was very alone and confused and i took it out on someone i shouldn't have. Even if he was an insufferable twat. My…. my feelings…” Sirius was struggling, unable to keep eye contact, but pressed on, “Were complicated and unrequited. I didn't know what to do with them and i had no one to confide in at the time.” Lupin looked hurt at this but still seemed baffled about what Sirius was talking about. “I became a very angry person, Harry, all these thoughts and feeling were repressed for so long inside me they sort of… boiled up. Not in a very healthy way either. I did a lot of dumb things but that was the worst Harry i promise, please believe me, i sought help after…that.” 

Harry could see his godfather was being very raw, and very venerable, and yet could find no words. Sirius pressed on after some silence. 

“I think you know how helpful Dumbledore can be, right Harry? Well turns out he has had some experience in what i was feeling and was a great mentor. I learned to control my emotions. I learned to say… what i’m feeling to the people i need to say it to.” his eyes flickered towards Lupin, if only for a second. “I wish you could have seen me at a better time Harry. The most difficult thing you can do is forgive a person. Forgive them for hurtful words they’ve said, ways they’ve acted, things they might not have thought they’ve done wrong. Forgive them and know people are not always what they seem on the surface. Because deep down… all they need is someone who cares.” 

Silence took the room, only the licking of flames against Harry’s ears broached the quiet. Just like that, Harry wasn’t confused anymore, Harry understood, Harry forgave Sirius and saw the pain in him that he had been feeling himself. Lupin seemed to see it too and had wrapped an arm around Black’s hunched frame. 

“Padfoot…” Lupin whispered empathetically, “I….”

“No.” Sirius straightened up, determination set in his features now, “It’s fine, lets not do this now, i said what i needed to say, im ashamed and i know i shouldn't have hurt Snape just because he was an easy target. He doesn’t seem like… that bad of a guy.” Sirius looked as if those words tasted sour, clearly not used to complimenting the potions master. “I should have tried to see past his surface. Anyway, Harry i hope you can forgive me and my brash actions. Act with your head, feel with your heart i say. Well, Dumbledore said that actually but its a good mantra.” 

Sirius smiled sheepishly up at Lupin, who hugged him harder. Harry wished he could reach out and do the same. He needed it as much as Sirius seemed to. 

“Speaking of Snape,” Lupin said, “does he know you witnessed his memory?” 

“Ahhhh yea…” Harry flinched, “didn’t go over too good, in short i’m not going to see him again for a while, no more Occlumency for me. Not a big deal tho—“ 

“YES, BIG DEAL” Sirius shouted, lurching forward, “I’m coming there to have a word—!!” 

Sirius jumped up off the ground, snatching up his coat from one of the kitchen chairs. Lupin snagged one of his arms and forcibly dragged him back down, locking a firm grip on Sirius’s neck once near. 

“I think not.” He said, “I’ll go, but Harry you have to go tell him he can’t stop teaching you as well! It’s very important you learn, your susceptible—-“

“No way!” Harry pictured the horrifying image of Snape barreling down at him, teeth gnashing, “You didn't see him when he caught me, i’ll be dead before you get to the school! He’ll chop me up and pickle me in one of his creepy jars just like—“ 

Suddenly the distinct sound of footsteps tromped near, alerting all three. Harry’s heart began to pound, the fire around him felt more stifling than ever. 

“I think its from your end, Harry.” Sirius whispered, “You better run.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High Shipper Mschmnged again! hi so NOW harry has no reasons left not to talk to Draco! no more excuses! he got the answers he needed and he's ready to go ahead full speed! now its up to draco to forgive him! we've heard harry reel about in his own head, but what does draco think? how much thought had draco put into the idea of him and harry? i should hope a lot since he says he's in love, for not having spent a ton of time with harry thats a huge emotion to have!
> 
> and i would like to address what I've been insinuating about Sirius and Lupin... its pretty obvious isn't it? obvious Sirius has/had feeling for his long time friend. but Lupin? They've had talks about it, Sirius said it himself he learned to talk to the right people in healthy ways, but makes you wonder how that conversation went!
> 
> anyway I've been having fun here guys, and thanks for reading! I'm glad to hear such positive feedback and that you all are having a fun time too, thanks so much i really do appreciate it and as always i would love to hear more!


	12. The Badge

Harry’s head buzzed from the rush of pulling out of the roaring fire, knees still firmly (and sorely) planted before the pink mantelpiece belonging to the current horror of a headmaster; Umbridge. Angry mewing from the painted kittens on her ornate wall-plates almost distracted the trespassing Gryfindor from the approaching footsteps that had jolted him from his conversation with his Godfather and ex-teacher. Quickly, Harry unfurled his father’s cloak, instantly melting into the putrid pink background. He could again breathe knowing at least he wouldn't be seen by the intruder… well, other intruder. He crouched, poised to bolt if necessary, and waited, taking only small breaths to keep as silent as possible…. 

An unmistakeable mangy cat sprinted in, leaping onto the desk with purpose. Mrs Norris being there could only mean one thing; Flitch wasnt far behind. 

“Quick my pet!” He huffed, running into Umbridge’s office out of breath, “She’s left the door open, it’s our lucky day!” 

Flitch’s stringy sad head of hair was strewn about, plastering to the sweating brow above his budging eyes. Harry had never seen such a grin on the caretaker, wildly crooked and discolored, it something that would be in Hermione’s parent’s nightmares. One of Umbridge’s plate-kittens seemed to be feeling brave and began to hiss and spit at the scraggly tuft that was Mrs Norris, whom did not take the scrap for dominance lightly; she gave a throaty growl and bat the dainty plate off the wall, shattering her challenger on the floor. 

“Concentrate! We’re looking for approval for whipping, Mrs Norris!” Flitch wheezed, riffling through drawers as his cat pawed through papers on the desk, “Or a diary if you happen across one! Most importantly approval for whipping…. ah ha!!” He clutched in his grizzled hand an official looking piece of paper, one he immediately began to wet with kisses. 

“Better grab a few copies!! Those dratted double-trouble duplicates have done it this time!! Good thing i keep all my whips good and greased! Come, Mrs Norris, time to show those wise-asses our room of pain!” 

Harry stiffled a snicker as the gleeful man hobbled out of the office, ragamuffin cat at his heels. Adjusting so he was properly concealed under his cloak, Harry looked back woefully at his obvious intrusion; a dash of floo powder that didn't make it in the fireplace, papers tousled by Flitch, broken plate-kitten mewing pitifully on the floor… He hoped The Head Bitchtress wouldn't notice after all the commotion the twins promised. 

Harry made sure he was a healthy couple paces behind Flitch, and once he was sure he was alone, Potter whipped the invisibility cloak from his shoulders, expertly folded it up into a neat square and tucked it away into his bag. Pleased with his caper, Harry smiled to himself. Everything was going to be ok. Everything was going to be amazing. Maybe he could even still make it to the end of whatever it was the firecracker twins had riled up. Harry needed a distraction from all the new questions that were popping up in his head after that conversation with his Godfather; he was still unsure how he felt about the whole situation with Snape. Suddenly a loud bang echoed, followed by shouting, so Harry darted off towards the excitement down by the entrance hall. Yet he didn't get far.

“OW! FUCK!!” Colliding full force into another student who had come tearing down an adjacent hall, Harry fell back smartly on his ass. The last few weeks he had been sporting a nasty butt bruise from his constantly being tossed about from pissing off Slytherins; a bruise that had finally almost healed, a bruise he was sure was going to be permeant now, much like his scar. 

Blinded by the shooting stars of pain before his eyes, Harry massaged the naked bridge of his nose; glasses having flown off in some unknown direction. Slowly, and very very painfully, Harry lifted himself from the flagstone to sit, and blindly began to feel around for the rogue frames.

“AGH! Hey, keep your hands to yourself, Potter!” Harry looked up shocked at what he now believed to be the blur of Draco Malfoy. “What in the Deathly Hallows are you doing running around the halls like that for, scarhead??” 

Harry simply blinked, unable to sharpen his vision of the blonde crumpled on the floor. There he was. Of all the people, there HE was… maybe the school wasn't so big after all. His chance to talk to him was at hand, Harry had to choose his words carefully. 

“M-malfoy?” Once again, he was a guy of few, very few, good words. 

“Great guess, Potter, what, are you prone to face blindness as well as fainting and lameness?”

“I can’t see without my glasses.” Harry rebuffed flatly. 

“Oh.” Draco stared at Harry a while, or at least Harry guessed that he was looking at him. “Um, hold on…” 

Harry sat still, unsure of his next move, while the blonde blur fumbled about the floor. Yet before he knew what was going on, the blur was inches from Harry, so close he could reach out and…

“Here,” Draco carefully tucked the thick black frames onto Harry’s ears and adjusted it gently on his nose. As Harry’s vision sharpened, he gawked at the dashing boy aligning his glasses; Draco’s pale skin had a few barely there freckles Harry had never been close enough to see before, his warm grey eyes were framed by long blonde lashes any girl would be jealous of, and when did he start wearing his hair so…touchable? When they were young, Malfoy always had it firmly gelled back— immovable, but now it was tousled and fell about his face softly…

Draco had lovely features but he was quite handsome with masculinity as well; his jaw and cheekbones had sharpened, the hands that adjusted Harry’s glasses were nimble but strong, and subtle muscles around his long neck reminded Harry that his whole body was just as fit… and then he realized he had just been staring at Malfoy for much too long. 

“Heiehh.. yeauh”

“Use your words, Potter” Draco chuckled, eyebrow raised, clearly amused at Harry’s never wavering awkwardness. Furious at himself, Harry wondered if he was ever attractive; all he ever did was fumble about life with the gracefulness of a troll. And now he was again before one of the best looking students of Hogwarts, not even able to string together a real sentence. Malfoy sat cross-legged, knees not even an inch from Harry’s… hands wringing nervously in his lap. Harry had almost forgotten Draco had feelings for him… and he was still unaware Harry felt them back. 

“Malfoy… i’m sorry about last time.” Harry watched the Slytherin’s face fall, walls rising up behind his eyes. “I was being an idiot, i just—“

“Just thought you were a fucking hotshot and could fuck with me even though i’m part of the Inquisitorial Squad?” Draco spat, standing defensively. “HA! All you did was embarrass yourself, did you really think you could intimidate me acting like… saying that…”

“No! I just—“ Harry heaved himself up, ignoring the aches from his impact and fall, “Thats not why i did that stupid stuff!”

“Back off Potter, i don’t care, i don't need your crap, i have to go help Umbridge, your dumbass friends—“

Harry grabbed Malfoy by the arm without hesitation, desperate to explain himself, “Just listen to me, i—“

“Hands off, Potter! What the hell makes you think you can just grab at me lately??” The taller boy ripped his arm from the Gryfindor’s grasp a little too forcibly and stumbled back into the wall. His eyes flew open wide as he seemed to be remembering this was how Harry had cornered him last time, and whipped his wand out from his pocket. Harry took a step back, hands up, as the wand jutted out at him threatenly. 

“I said back off! Please don’t make me, i wont be taunted like this, i am a MALFOY, i am head boy! I am part of the Inquisitotial Squad and i will be RESPECTED, Potter!” He was shaking with anger now, but his eyes showed something else.

“Draco,” Harry said softly, “Just let me explain, please, Draco listen.”

The Slytherin’s chin raised defiantly when he heard his name, but he was clearly taken aback to hear it from his nemesis. Mouth gaped with a loss of retorts, Draco’s wand lowered a little, but he was silent and Harry tried to take advantage of the moment and took a daring step forward. 

“I’m trying to use my words like you told me to.” Harry continued, taking another small step forward. “I’m just not very good at that.” Another step. “I’m trying to tell you i was an ass. I shouldn't have acted like that to you last time.” Draco’s wand dropped a little lower, so Harry took another step. “I shouldn't have acted how i’ve acted the entire time i’ve known you.”

“What?” Draco sagged against the wall slightly, wand completely lowered. 

“Even when i wasn't trying to be, i was always a dick to you. I…” Harry could feel himself losing momentum, he hadn’t practiced what he was going to say to Draco yet, and didn’t know how to say everything he felt. Once again he was close to the other boy, close enough to smell the warm scent of cologne the Slytherin wore, close enough to see he really liked his collar bone peeking out from the slightly unbuttoned school shirt. Draco must have been out of uniform when he was called to help with the Weasley riot, it was messily thrown together, shirt untucked over his tight slacks, no tie in sight, Inquisitorial badge pinned on crooked. Instinctually, Harry reached out to straighten it. 

“What did i tell you about touching my badge?!” Malfoy snapped, slapping at Harry’s hand. 

“It’s crooked, it’s no wonder i’m not taking you seriously Malfoy, i’m helping you.” Harry smiled sheepishly at the baffled blonde, and unpinned the metal. 

“Help me? You never…” He stared in disbelief as Harry pinched his shirt and pierced it with the badge. The Gryfindor’s hand pressed against Malfoy’s warm chest to keep steady, making his heart beat faster… he could feel the Slytherin’s heart beat quicken too… and he couldn’t help but look up into Draco’s wide, almost panicked eyes. The moment was suspended in time, weirdly slowed as if they were in one of those cheesy soaps Aunt Petunia used to obsess over, but Harry didn't mind for once. It all felt perfect. He finally felt what those horrible shows were trying to convey… he felt passion. Heat. Tension. He felt the presence of an indescribable magnetic pull to Draco that he had been unaware he harbored all this time, but now felt it had been there, hinting at truth, all those years. He had been too young to recognize that maybe their paths were destined to cross, though Harry never believed Professor Trelawney’s mumbo-jumbo about fated people, Malfoy was one of the first wizards to impact his life; and Harry had always been more in tuned to him than any other— almost needing to know his every move… maybe some mumbo-jumbo wasn’t so far off. Harry felt something ineffably immense, like the beginning of something… then Harry felt the pointy end of the badge go in too far and hit skin. 

“OUCH!! Bloody hell!! You stupid scarhead, you-!” Malfoy’s hand flew up, grabbed Potter’s and wretched it away— the badge clattered to the floor… but Draco didn’t let go… his hand lingered, maybe not consciously, but it stayed gripped firmly on the Gryfindor’s. Harry exhaled… and let his fingers tangle with Draco's. 

The Slytherin looked back at their twinning hands in shock, watching as their fingers interlaced, heat passing through them. Harry couldn't keep his eyes off Malfoy though, surprised at his own forwardness, that this was actually happening, that he was ok with everything, that he wanted more. 

“Draco. I like you.”

Malfoy turned back slowly to Harry, eyes wider than ever. His wand fell to the floor. 

Then he punched Harry square in the nose. 

“OW! WHAT THE FUCK?!” Harry didn’t fall to the ground this time, but he stumbled back wildly, pinching his offended nose. His glasses, broke in two, now laid at different ends of the hall. 

“HOW DO YOU KNOW??” Malfoy roared, snatching his wand up and again pointing it at Harry’s adams apple. “HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT??”

“What??” Harry’s mind was scattered, unsure of what was happening, he had finally apologized to Malfoy, he told him how he felt, they were having one of those moment-thingys, why did the Slytherin uppercut him??

“Answer me!” Draco hissed, burning red again, hair flopped in front of one of his watering eyes. “How do you know i’m gay??!!”

“G-gay? What…i…” 

“Why else would you tease me about that?? Who told you? Blaise?? Pansy???”

“Look, Draco, i just—“

“Stop calling me that!! EXPELLIARMUS!” Harry flew backwards, as if charged by an invisible bull, and smacked into the other wall with a sickening crunch. As Harry fell, he became tangled in the tapestry that had hung from it, tearing it down with him into a heaping mess on the floor. Gasping for air that wouldn’t come to him, Harry worried maybe his lungs had collapsed, and couldn't get up. 

“Don’t say a fucking word to anyone or i’ll hex your tongue to fall out of your mouth!!” Draco spat, “Stay the hell away from me Potter!” And he tore down the hall, leaving Harry crumpled amongst the tattered fabric— breathless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High Shipper Mschmnged consoles you, not all hope is lost, it is a long and treacherous ordeal to get to healing! Draco still is afraid, he's never had a reason to be scared of losing anything in life as a child but now so many scary high stakes are at hand! his trust is to be earned, though perhaps once Harry excersises some bold moves and acquires a few bruises the pace can become steady. 
> 
> now i had written this chapter before i got a lot of interesting comments on here about Harry's conversation with Sirius and Lupin. i am excited to explore not only Harry's retribution but perhaps Sirius's as well, after hearing such passion about his deplorable actions i can't help but want to redeem him! please share your thoughts! they have been amazing!


	13. The Chessboard

Days passed since the Twin’s grand escape, an elaborate sight to see Harry almost missed due to his temporary immobility; flattened to the floor by Draco’s violent defense. Harry genuinely wondered if he had broken his ass-bones, it took him several minutes to heave himself up; purely motivated by the desire to see the spectacle that had become louder and louder down the hall. Only after the twin’s brooms had smashed through Umbridge’s recently riffled-through office and whisked their owners away on the wings of sarcasm and quips did Harry drag himself to infirmary to have Madam Pomfrey see to his much deserved damage. She sucked at her teeth as he refused to give much detail about his injuries ( one of the more descriptive tall-tales being; “I may or may not be teaching suits of armor to give atomic wedgies”), but still, she shooed him out with a simple assessment of severe bruising and a vial of numbing salve. 

Now, almost a week from the day, Harry was finally beginning to forget the bruises were there, but the school was refusing to forget about the Double Departure, even Peeves was still keeping busy with his promise to keep the mayhem alive. His latest stunt was ‘Aquatic Antiquing’ — where he would drench the Headmistress with a bucket of water then proceed to slap her with a comically sized hand generously covered in flour. She was left flat on her ass in shock, covered in a congealing paste, forever left to wonder who had supplied the mischievous punk with with giant-esque spring-back hand. It was rumored to have been left as a present via the twins for whatever fantastical idea the ghost could concoct. Harry was sure the omnipresent being would find many cruel ways to reinvent this gift.

Potter hadn't seen Draco Malfoy since he was hurtled from the end of his wand, and sulked knowing he was probably beyond forgivance at this point. While everyone else was alive with the promise of upheaving the tyrant Umbridge, Harry was distraught with the idea of never getting to redeem his behavior. Now he slumped defeatedly in the charms classroom beside his best friends, rudely prodding the teacup he was supposed to charm as Hermione and Ron once again discussed the wearing-on-his-nerves topic of the twins.

“I wasn’t going to say anything about Fred and George!” Hermione hissed, “Besides, I’m tried of hearing about their blasted escape! It’s been days now! We have homework to worry about!” She was looking very ruffled, but honestly she seemed to be peeved at all times, specaily when grades were on the line. The bushy-haired girl was gripping her Charms spell book so tightly Harry would have worried she would snap it in half, if book vandalism wasnt considered utter blasphemy in her eyes. Ron eyed her with apprehension across the table, calculating how far he could really push her before she would whip out her wand or something. 

His best friend had been very thrilled about the amount of money he had just learned that Harry had gifted to his twin brothers for their joke shop, but Hermione was not as amused. Potter wondered if she just didn’t understand how much money he already had, bequeathing it to the twins was hardly a chip in his savings. No, he wasn’t exactly being frugal with it, no, going to Hogwarts wasn’t cheap, and no, it’s not like Harry was going to get a job any time soon that would add to his bank vault… but whatever, that is future Harry’s problem. What are the chances of him living past his school years anyway? Currently there are multiple full-grown dark wizards with adult wizard mortgages and adult wizard jobs out to kill him, one of which a very pissed off, no-nosed, strongest-dark-wizard-of-his-time asshole. Now he was in an abusive will-they-won’t-they relationship with his in-school nemesis. And at the moment it’s looking like they won’t. And it’s looking like Harry is delusional for even saying they could ever. He sighed heavily, inadvertently making it super dramatic. 

“In fact,” Hermione’s voice interrupted his thoughts, “ I was going to ask Harry about those Occlumency lessons again! He needs to talk to Snape about that immediately!” She said, as if Harry wasn’t sitting right there listening. He wasn’t happy to hear it either, he had been trying to avoid telling them about his trip to Sirius’s fireplace being that he wasn’t quite sure what to tell them about his reasonings for wanting to talk to him in the first place. The Gryfindor was finding he was less and less willing to confide in his two best friends and it was becoming concerning. The biggest issue was in trying to not revel too much about his conversation but still trying to be honest, Harry had confessed Sirius and Lupin wanted him to ask Snape for Occlumency lessons to resume, something Hermione was eager to bring up again and again, just like every other time she had been right about something. 

“Are you honestly going to sit there and have me believe you aren’t having those queer dreams again?” She unsuccessfully tried to hold back a smug smirk in her cleverness for bringing Occlumency back into topic smoothly for the hundredth time that week. “And Ron, i swear to Helga if you open your mouth i will tell all the girls in the Gryfindor commons you're a panty sniffer.” 

Ron almost protested, clearly having been prepared this time with some kind of smart remark on her choice of thesaurus, but wisely closed his mouth and pouted vehemently in his chair. 

“Now you can’t deny it, Harry, because Ron here,” she nodded in the fuming redhead’s direction, “had told me you are talking in your sleep again!” 

“Only a bit!” Ron protested as Harry glared at him, betrayed, “something about ‘just a bit further…’” 

Harry burned as red as his traitorous friend’s hair, knowing perfectly well what he had dreamed about. 

“PSHT!” He hissed, “I dreamed i watch you constantly dropping the damned quaffle in a Quidditch game, ass!” Harry was obviously bluffing, he had not dreamed of Ron at all, or anyone else for that matter, except for the same person had had been dreaming about for almost a month now. Draco Malfoy. 

The dreams seemed to be getting vivider and vivider with each passing star-drenched night, this past sleep having been plagued by the most realistic tangibility yet. It started simply enough, Harry had been playing chess alone, not even wizard’s chess, but simple muggle chess, in a unfamiliar but cozy room in the castle. It was high above the grounds from what he could see out the windows, and had no purpose but comfort; just two overstuffed armchairs and a long plush couch accented the handsomely carved chess table made of various woods. He was about to kill the opposing king when an uninvited hand executed an expert move to avoid checkmate. Harry looked up to see his nemesis, dressed simply in a green silk robe, guiding a mahogany knight to capture the King’s attempted assassin. 

“Hello Potter.” he whispered, voice heavy with mysterious intentions. 

“I see you’ve come to foil my fun, Malfoy.” Harry moved a carved piece absentmindedly, never taking his eyes off the robed figure before him. 

“Well,” the blonde sighed, “maybe you need to reassess what you consider fun. Maybe i can help.” 

Harry had known for quite some time his dreams weren’t horridly imaginative with script, not dissimilar from muggle pornos that tried to be clever with the writing skills of a middle-schooler, but he could forgive his subconsciousness’s cheesiness because it made up for it in high definition. The visuals before him were so rich and detailed he could have mistaken it for reality if it weren’t for the dialogue. He could even see that familiar crease peek out from Draco’s cheek as he grinned pompously, knowing he had Harry’s attention as, with one swift movement, he eased the belt on his robe undone, causing the slick green fabric to cascade open. Harry stared hungrily as the Slytherin’s pale skin reflected softly in the moonlight, taut over the muscle and sinew earned over years of Quidditch. He was slim but sturdy, masculine in shape, but had skin so impeccable it must has been cautiously manicured over the years with expensive moisturizers and oils. He wanted so much to reach out and touch it.

“Checkmate, Potter” Draco breathed, not breaking the sizzling eye contact between them. He stepped towards Harry, still just out of reach. 

“What?” Harry slowly reclined back into his armchair, not wanting to lose his view of the approaching seducer. He hid a smirk behind his hand while the other braced against his own outstretched thigh. 

“I’m beating you Potter, checkmate.“ 

Harry glanced at the game board; indeed Malfoy had him in check, but he immediately saw an out. And chose to ignore it. 

“Then you win” Harry whispered, knocking over his own king in false forfeit. 

“What do i win?” Draco asked, nudging a curtain of blonde hair away from his smoldering grey eyes. He took another tantalizing step forward, outstretching a long hand to the Gryfindor’s, teasing between the webs of his fingers. 

“Just come here already.“ Harry growled, grasping his wrist and yanking him onto the armchair. Immediately Harry’s hands found their way underneath the silk robe and snaked up Draco’s writing back, impatiently pulling him into a tight embrace as the Slytherin’s heated thighs straddled his lap. Their lips mingled as Malfoy’s hands grasped the dark unruly hair to tip the Gryfindor’s face up to his, pressing almost painfully into his expert tongue. Harry delighted in Draco’s nudeness, immediately sensing his arousal building, and slid a hand down to greet it. Draco engorged fully in his stroke, wetting eagerly at the tip as Harry moved his greedy mouth to the exposed neck of his enemy. Clumsily, Malfoy reached down to loosen his opponent’s slacks, springing forth a hardened rook of his own. He must have cast some unspoken spell to lubricate him, expertly caressing the long flesh until pressing it into himself. 

“Ah-haHarry…” Draco gasped, taking him in cautiously. Harry’s eyes rolled as he felt the most indescribable tight pressure around his virgin member, the Slytherin slowly lowering himself down on his sword, practically to the hilt. 

“Ooooh my gods!” Harry groaned, immediate instinct to buck kicking in. He dug his fingers into the sides of his seducer, pulling in and down with more and more speed. 

“Easy easy!” Draco was dragging red tails across the Gryfindor’s back with his nails, breathing hotly into his ear. Sweat began to slick them, rousing a musk of sex into the air as they pushed and pulled into each other, rocking the armchair on it’s clattering feet. 

“Please Draco…” Harry huffed, wanting more, needing more, “Just a bit further…” 

His vision began to vignette, bathing the rocking Slytherin in a milky light. Draco emitted an irresistible noise of pleasure, driving Harry closer to madness. 

“Just a bit further…” He could feel his partner tighten around him as he pushed deeper, he could feel a warm wetness splotch his chest as he successfully pleased Draco, he could feel him relaxing now, letting him further… 

“Just a bit…. further… AH!” 

And as he came in dream and in real life, Harry slid from the fantasy softly into reality, all while hearing a faint high laugh he wasn’t sure was real. 

“Harry, you are taking this seriously, aren’t you?” Hermione pressed, seeing that Harry’s eyes had filmed over in disinterest for the real world. 

The high laugh was still ringing in his head, he wasn’t sure it had stopped since the dream, maybe he was only just now paying attention, but now it was almost drowning out Hermione’s nagging. Harry wanted to be concerned about the strange intruding laughter but he was more concerned about how he was getting more action in his dreams than he was in real life. He needed to find a new way to remedy his situation with the Slytherin incubus that was haunting his dreams, he needed to have him in his arms, his real arms. 

“Harry tell me you are going to ask Snape for Occlumency lessons again!” Hermione’s voice finally won out over the torturous laughter in his mind, and pulled him down from the clouds with a firm grasp. 

“Yes, alright, I am, I’ll go to him after class, happy??” Harry wasn’t happy about taking measures to snuff out his erotic dreams but he was desperate to get this girl off his back. 

“I’ll be happy when Ron stops hearing you talk in your sleep.” She put her upturned nose back into her book and waved her wand lazily at her teacup, successfully and unsurprisingly doing whatever it was that they needed to do to the damned things. 

“Hey, stop bringing me into this!” Ron protested, “you’ve gotten me into enough trouble as is, Herms!” 

“Don’t call me that!! It makes me sound like an old man with a hoarding disorder or something. It’s gross.”

Ron began to weave a rich backstory for this ‘Herms’ character, delighting in Hermione’s twinges of disgust as he detailed the piles of fossilized dungs the fictional man collected. Harry let himself get pulled back into daydreams, sadly not even a fourth of the potency of his actual dreams, and counted down the minutes to when he would have to head to the dungeons to see the very man who hated him most at the moment. Or perhaps it was Draco who hated him most. Or, he supposed, it would be Voldemort. It honestly could be anyone, he seemed to be very hateable lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy guys.... so i know i've been absent quite a while, i'm truly sorry, had a vacation and then had to work a bunch and then it was just hard to get back into the writing mood. i'm really trying hard to keep this going i don't want to abandon this story because i know how much it sucks when that happens and i honestly want to know the ending to this too, i have to just write as it unfolds. at least now the next chapter will pull us further into hemming up the past, then maybe harry will find the perfect solution for his future. though he tends to always just stumble onto things cluelessly and lets everything take care of itself most of the time haha. i hope you guys are still interested in reading and i would love to hear more thoughts! thank you so much!


	14. The Reconciliation

Munching on the last surviving piece of melting easter chocolate and wiping his coated fingertips off on an unsuspecting tapestry, Harry sauntered down the halls into the chilly depths of the dungeons towards Snape’s classroom, dreading the fact that the time to confront his fears was at hand. He had successfully avoided the ill-tempered man for quite some time, but due to the resounding (and relentless) nagging of others that his lessons should be continued, Harry was convinced that it was time for him to do as much reconciling with the professor as he could… that and he was starting to become unnerved about the eerie maniacal laughter that had been reoccurring in his pungent dreams. 

Harry slowed as he approached the intimidating door to the potions classroom, trying to take deep breaths before reaching to open it…. only to find it slightly ajar. It was unusual, Snape wasn’t the type to leave things unattended to (well, besides the pensive) he was always finding his school supplies stash being depleted mysteriously, polyjuice potion ingredients a common denominator. Harry crept forward, unsure of what to make of it, when suddenly a familiar voice bellowed out incoherently. Sirius was here! At Hogwarts! But how did he manage? Then Harry heard Lupin’s voice shushing the man furiously. Potter beamed, they had actually managed to get into the school somehow to give Snape a talking to as promised. He just had to hear this. 

Flawlessly, Harry whipped out his invisibility cloak, having done this so many times it was almost routine, and attempted to slip into the classroom without touching the door. He weaved past the bulky desks and cauldrons, heart thumping with excitement as the voices from the office towards the back became clearer and clearer. 

“Sirius! You mustn't speak so loud, if someone overheard…”

“Sorry sorry, i just, i am just here as a concerned godparent and he dares insinuate…!”

“I know, breathe, think about what we’ve planned”

“I don’t know why you bothered coming here at all!” Snape hissed, “I have nothing to say to you two and i want nothing more to do with that boy, damn Dumbledores orders!”

“You know perfectly well that boy’s fate is sealed if you don't help him Severus! You must force him to continue with lessons! If that greasy goat Umbridge hadn’t put such tight security around this school we would do so, but it’s up to you! Please, Snape!” 

“Snape,” Sirius muttered, “Don’t take this out on him because of what i did.”

“All of you! You undeserving idiots were absolute shit-mongrels to me every single moment of our school career!”

“But i was the worst,” Sirius was looking truly ashamed, hanging his shaggy head in dismay. “Despite James’s words, despite Remus’s lack of action, despite Peter’s encouragement, i was the worst. What i did…”

“Don’t speak of it!” Snape’s eyes bulged as they flicked towards Lupin. Yet Lupin showed no look of curiosity or surprise, he simply nodded his head in understanding and approached the black-clad man heedfully.

“What Black did was unforgivable, but don’t take it out on Harry…”

“No, Lupin, let me finish.” Sirius lightly put his hand on Lupin’s chest and pushed him back, lingering there for a while. 

“Like he said, what i did was unforgivable and i will never ask for it to be forgotten. I know it will haunt me forever, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is; it happened, i was a fool and i let myself do terrible things i can’t take back. I have learned, Severus. I had years to think on it, nothing but time sitting in Azkaban rotting away to think on every horrible thing i have ever done, know i can’t fix a bit of it. I don’t dare say i’m sorry. I don’t dare because that’s insulting. I don’t deserve this chance to speak to you. But please. Please Severus,”   
Sirius kneeled before the apprehensive man, “I do dare to beg of you, don’t take it out on Harry. Don’t judge him by the foolish genes he inherited from his father. Don’t serve him up to Voldemort on a silver platter! Continue his lessons! Save the boy! I am yours to do so as you will if you do. Torture me, hurt me, anything…. please. I’m begging you, Severus.”

Silence took the room, all were in shock as the disheveled man sat dejected before the stunned professor. Snape’s astonishment turned to amusement soon enough, and so he crossed his arms in his famous manner. 

“Well… i must say i have enjoyed this… display.”

“Severus…” Lupin snarled, lip curling like a wolf baring his teeth threateningly. 

“Now now,” Snape held his hand up to halt him, “I have decided.. to help. Again. I am just that generous.” 

Sirius looked up at him in disbelief, wild eyes wide underneath his unkempt hair. Lupin clasped his hand upon his tattered jacket shoulder and hoisted him up as the godfather stammered his thanks to the slimy man.

“Thank you! Thank you Severus, anything that i can do, i…”

“Yes… well, I’m sure i can think up a few things i will need from you, but for now… just so i can know you’re honest not just on good faith…” he looked between the desperate men sinisterly, “I need you to admit to your friend here what you had admitted to me years past.” 

“What?” Sirius was baffled, still clutching onto his friend, his footing not yet found. 

“Under that tree, when you had me bound up like a trussed goose, you admitted your affections were not for me, but another. I was just a ‘proxy’ for your ugly transgressions, am i wrong?”

“Hey, no, Snape, that’s not…” Remus shuffled uncomfortably as Sirius’s grasp on him tightened, his face now ashen. 

“I want. To hear you. Confess.” Snape advanced, his stare unwavering, “Confess to the one who never noticed you! Confess to the one who made you feel like you had lash out on me! Confess who you became an animal for! Confess, Black! Confess!”  
Snape was a frightening sight, yelling now not unlike a judge trying to out a Death Eater in the bowels of the ministry. His greasy hair hung precariously in front of his crazed face, a smile slit greedily across his face at the chance to finally get his revenge, no matter how small. 

“I already know, Snape!” Lupin bellowed, stepping up, “Now stop this!” 

“You know? Not fair, i wanted to hear it for myself, get some kind of… closure on this twisting romantic tale.”

“Fine.” Sirius whispered.  
 “Don’t be like we were, Snape!” Lupin chided, “Don’t stoop to that level, be better than what we were to you! You are a professor, you need to be an example…”

“I think i deserve to be a tad cruel about this! Wouldn’t you say?? He says he’s had years to dwell on his conduct, well so have i! I have never recovered my reputation from that day!”

“I said i would do it” Sirius spoke softly, eyes still on the ground.

“Reputation!” Lupin laughed, “What reputation? You were always a greasy little loser, what Sirius did never put a dent in your already terrible reputation!” 

“Don’t push me Remus! I will retract my offer!”

“STOP!” Sirius yelled, stepping between the two bickering men, “I said i would confess! If that is what you need Severus, i will gladly abide.” 

Harry gulped nervously, again finding it easy to forget he wasn’t supposed to be privy to this moment. He checked to be sure he was still fully invisible as Sirius turned to his long time friend, away from the gleeful smirk of his nemesis.

“Remus… i know i have put you through this before, but i must ask you to suffer though this once again…”

“Sirius…”

“For years i have stayed by your side. I have laughed, cried and even been angry with you. You have been the best of friend, and i selfishly wanted more. I tried everything to make you notice me the way i noticed you. I was not healthy with these feelings, i acted out horribly and sabotaged many lives in my pursuit of you. I feel terrible for how i treated Severus, for how i treated you, and for how i treated all of the girls that admired you…”

“Wait, what? Girls liked me? You never told me that, what did you do to them??”

“Never mind that Remus, i am trying to tell you something!”

Lupin gasped, covering his mouth in horror, “Pracilla Abbott! That girl in my transfiguration class who wrote me letters! They said she was sent to the hospital wing cursed with something awful! What was it, bat wings, or bat boogies, or…”

“It was a Bat Brains hex Lupin, they found her hanging from the rafters eating bugs, i’m sorry i am! But please let me finish!”

Harry had to stifle a snicker, his godfather certainly had a great sense of humor with his spells, but he really was a troubled youth. He was happy to see Sirius straightening himself out, no matter how awkwardly it was happening. 

“I’m in love with you, Remus. And i’m sorry for it.” Sirius let out a breath that sounded like he had been holding it in for years and stared apologetically into his best friend’s eyes. 

“Wait… Sirius, when you told me before, you said you ‘were’ in love, but not anymore. That is what you mean right? You said you’ve grown past it…”

Sirius groaned, exasperated, “I lied. I just wanted to make things easier for you.”

“You… you still feel that way?”

“Don’t worry about it old pal, i will get past it! Eventually. Probably. I know you don’t feel the same, you say that that Tonks woman is growing on you…”

“Ugh gods, i shouldn’t have told you about that. it’s just a silly crush she has on me…”

“Not true! I heard you with her some nights ago! She left for the Weasley’s burrow in tears the next day, she wouldn’t tell me a thing other than she needed to see Molly!” 

“It was nothing, Sirius! she’s just young and emotional, i weakly gave into her, i shouldn’t have encouraged…” 

“Don’t! Don’t brush her off the way you did me!” Sirius grasped his friend’s shoulders roughly, shaking him, “Just because you think you’re unloveable doesn’t mean that it is so! For so long you have thought you’ve needed to protect everyone from you! That you don’t deserve love because of your transformations! She cares for you! She might be young but that doesn't mean her feelings aren’t honest!”

“Sirius…” Lupin stared at him in shock, “I… i don’t…”

“I became an animal for you… to show you. To show you that i am not afraid, and neither should anyone else be. It’s unfortunate what happened to you as a child but it is not something for you to become hopeless over! You can be loved if you let us! Stop pushing away, Remus. Please…” 

Black pulled him into a shaky embrace, clutching tightly. Snape observed in discomfort, then suddenly become interested in a fleshy-nubby blob floating in one of his many creepy jars. Harry stared in amazement. His godfather… in love with Lupin? And after all this time, unrequited? It was obvious in the desperate way he clutched his long-time friend that his feelings were indeed as strong as the day in the memory he had witnessed. For years, Sirius suffered in so many ways; losing two of his best friends to death, not getting the chance to raise Harry himself, and then having been sentenced to be tortured in Azkaban… but on top of all of that he spent decades pining away for someone that was so close… It made Harry terrified. Would this be his future if he never told Malfoy how he felt? Years of agony, feeling like he could never be honest? Wondering what could have been…

“Ok, hey,” Snape broke the silence, not able to hold interest in the blob jar any longer, “Can we hurry this up? I agreed to help… and you,” Severus jabbed the back of Black’s shoulder, still embracing his friend. “You are not supposed to be here.” 

“Right, right,” Lupin choked, carefully prying himself away from Sirius, who now appeared to be emotionally broken and very much so drained. “We must be going. Quickly too, don’t want anyone spotting us at the Gunhilda of Gorsemoor passage.”

“Passage?” Snape perked up, “Is that how you’ve snuck around these halls all these years??” 

“Never mind that. Say goodbye, Sirius.”

“Ok.” Black muttered. “Bye Snivillus.” 

“Its’ been a pleasure, dog.” Snape sneered.

“Come on Sirius, don’t make me put you on a leash.”

“Hold on,” he said, discreetly wiping away a tear, “I want to say goodbye to my godson.”

“WHAT?”

Harry stiffened in shock, breath caught in his throat. Did he know he was there?? The whole time??? 

“Come on Harry, give me a hug, I won’t leave without one.” Sirius beckoned to the empty air that Harry invisibly occupied.   
Shaking, Harry slowly removed the velvety cloak he hid underneath, feeling very bare. His eyes darted nervously between the shocked looks from Snape and Remus and the doting smile from Black. 

“H-how…”

Sirius tapped the side of his nose, “My doggie senses were tingling.” 

Sirius turned to Remus and quipped, “Honestly i’m surprised you didn’t sniff him out as well, the boy reeks of chocolates and night sweats.”

“Charming.” Snape hissed, peeved at the intrusion.

Noticing his godson was still frozen on the spot, Sirius took it upon himself to embrace Harry, lifting him into a back-breaking grip. 

“Harry,” he whispered so only he would hear, “I hope this helps. I’m sorry it went this way. I love you. Be good… and Harry?”

“Y-yes Sirius?”

“Tell him how you feel. Before its too late.” 

“…uh…”   
“Snivels over there told us about the last occlumency lesson. What a snitch, right? Anyway, it doesn’t matter if it’s that pureblood prat’s kid, i trust your judgement. Don’t make him a regret, Harry.” 

Sirius sighed, pleased with the wisdom he imparted. Locking Harry in a side-hug, he looked at Lupin, waiting impatiently at the door, and whispered in his godson’s ear, “Blondes, am i right?”

“Come on Black, we need to go! Harry, give me a hug, hurry now!” 

“Here,” Harry hugged Remus heartily and handed him the lovely velvet fabric he treasured, “Use my dad’s cloak, leave it by the witch statue’s hunchback, i can pick it up later.”

“So smart!” Sirius laughed out boisterously, slapping him on the back, “Like his father!” 

Snape scoffed at this and tossed himself moodily into his desk chair. 

“Thank you, Harry.” Lupin placed a hand lovingly on Potter’s cheek “This will all be sorted out soon. We will see you again before you know it. Wait patiently. Take your occlumency lessons. No more trouble, promise?” 

“Promise… to do my best.” 

“Atta boy, see ya kiddo.” Black transfigured into the beloved shaggy dog, Snuffles, and trotted out the door after the now invisible Lupin. 

Harry stood there, the warmth of Remus’s hand and Sirius’s embrace slowly leaving him, and he found himself reminded of how much longer he had to endure school with the deranged Umbridge. 

“Soooo,” Snape drawled, toying with a feather quill on his desk, “I suppose we are on the same page about your lessons then, humn? That makes my job a bit easier.” He stood menacingly, “A bit.” 

Harry gulped, knowing that he was not yet off the hook with his hook-nosed teacher. He stuffed his hands into his pockets nervously as the thin ghoulish man walked aggravatingly slow around his desk. 

“And with what’s happened between said occlumency lessons and your unwarranted face dip into my memories…” Snape circled around Harry now, causing him to sweat profusely under his school robes. “Is it safe to say we are on the same page with this star-crossed lovers situation as well?” 

“W-what…”   
“Don’t play coy, Potter!” The professor snarled. Snape stopped to glare straight into Harry’s eyes and he could tell it bothered the man that he had grown to be at eye level, no longer someone he could look down on. Potter was growing up, seeing things, hearing things, feeling things, he never had before. Slowly but surely he was becoming a man, and finally he was being treated like someone to be reckoned with, someone who could be trusted with… well, anything besides private conversations. Harry was coming to realize he didn’t need any more enemies, and even though Severus was not the best of men, he wasn't always the worst. Sirius proved to Harry that being humble is a strong trait, one he should utilize more. He showed Harry that like magic, an apology may only be words, but when used with certainly, it can have strong and powerful results. 

“Professor Snape,” Harry said as confidently as possible, drawing himself up even taller, “I know you saw my dreams about Malfoy. I’m sorry you saw that.”

“And Diggory.” 

“Ah, yup and Diggory, i’m sorry for that too. And i’m sorry i rooted around in your memories. Do you know i saw another one besides the one with my dad?”

“Yes. I am aware. Do you know how seriously i take it that you need to understand what position this puts me in? I am supposed to protect the boy.”

“He’s not a boy.” As soon as he said it, Harry held his breath. Talking back was not a good idea right now. 

“Excuse me?”

“H-hes not a boy, hes a -a -“

“A young man. Yes yes, i see your point Potter, he can make his own choices when it comes to his love life, but you see this is a problem regarding the Dark Lord.”

“Oh.”

“Besides it sounds like he might not be too keen on you at the moment anyway…” Snape smirked wickedly.

“What? What did he say??”

“Potter! I will not gossip with you like some fat pink portrait! Concentrate. Now we must begin your occlumency lessons again at once in order to protect you and Draco from the mind of the dark one. If you want him to live, focus on your studies, or you’ll soon be fantasizing about more than one corpse.”

Harry flinched. Too soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High Shipper Mschmnged apologizes!   
> hopefully you all can accept my apology for my absence the way Snape half heartily accepted Sirius's! how fitting is this chapter eh?   
> i don't want to get into it much, but life got out of hand, i got a bit busy writing fan fiction pieces for live performances about the wiles of Tom Riddle with Ginny Weasley and just couldn't get my writing boner up long enough to sexually pump it to two stories.  
>  Hopefully by creating this reconciliation chapter with a little SiriusXRemus makes up for it? its hard to stay cannon and please multiple shippers, i love the idea of BlackXLupin but i do love Tonks!! i hate to downplay the relationship between her and Lupin but i don't feel she would have been as perfect for him as Sirius.   
> Not everyone winds up with who they are perfect for though and i don't want to take that reality from this story. When it comes to sexuality, not everyone can swing around like a penis-copter. Who knows, maybe lupin is as straight as an arrow...or maybe he's been curious and bent like a bow. we may never know.   
> but what is important is that sirius said everything he's ever needed to say and he is pooped out! harry is once again being confident in his choices and is back on the right track! Snape is wary but is enjoying being the secret keeper for everyone and their fruity trysts!   
> i really do plan to write more, I'm sorry if it takes me a while! i am now about to be in the mist of a cross country move so i will do what i can!


End file.
